Showing posts with label accounting of the soul. Show all posts
Showing posts with label accounting of the soul. Show all posts

Sunday, October 9, 2016

My Soul is Tired

Sleep does not help if it’s your soul that’s tired.
-- Unknown
I spent a lot of time during Elul and in the days since Rosh HaShanah taking an accounting of my soul.

My soul is tired.

Tired of being a single-tasker in a multi-tasking world.

Tired of video conference calls that make me feel dyslexic.

Tired of writing condolence notes -- especially for young people.

Tired of eating alone at my desk day after day – for a few extra minutes of work time.

Tired of invariably choosing the pew behind chatters and squirmers -- every year at this season.

Tired of the volume and vulgarity of America’s political discourse.

Tired of having someone pass off my work as her own.

Tired of too-loud talkers, too-loud music, and too-loud kiddies with oblivious moms.

Tired of being pushed and squished on the subway.

Tired of incessant texters -- and constantly dodging them.

Tired of unending consumerism, entitlement, and privilege turning a blind eye to hunger, homelessness, and poverty – and tired of being powerless to help right these wrongs.

Tired of technology’s ceaseless interruptions.

Tired of being bereft of things that promote quality of life and a touch of humanity: face-to-face meetings, apples and honey, thanks for a job well done, uninterrupted work time, morning greetings, communal space, intellectual banter, inside voices, guidance, mentors, a voice, a presence, learning opportunities, creativity for its own sake, and a Shabbat shalom or two when Friday finally rolls around.

My soul is tired – and I don’t know how or where to find the joy, the fun, the funny, the warmth, the camaraderie, the smile, the delight, or the gladness that might bring it back to life.