Friday, April 22, 2016

#BlogExodus 14: In Praise of Sweet Passover Memories

In 2010, our family's Passover seder turned out to be the seder that wasn't. 

That morning in late March, instead of putting the finishing touches on all her seder preparations, my mom was admitted to the hospital for pain control of what we soon learned was metastatic breast cancer. She was moved to hospice on Shavuot, and died over Memorial Day weekend.  

Needless to say, Passover's been a bittersweet affair for us ever since.

Nonetheless, there were many, many years when it was a wonderful, much anticipated celebration full of family togetherness, delicious food, and afikomen hidings and findings, the retellings of which still can make us laugh!

Here are a few more of those sweet Passover memories:
  1. In 1963, my parents took me to Aunt-Claire-and-Uncle-Jash's (it was always just one word) for  my first seder. Walter-the-Whale, ever after known as Walter-a-Whale, came home with us that night, and he's been with me ever since.
  2. Many subsequent Passovers were spent there at 17 Brookshire Drive with the Maxwell House haggadah, most recently in 2011, our first without either The Mums or Uncle Jash.
  3. Passover always meant a new spring outfit, often the same one as my sister. An apple-green jumper with a matching blouse patterned in pink buds and green leaves is the one I recall most vividly, probably dating back to about 1974.
  4. Once we outgrew those matching outfits, there was always a bauble -- usually a necklace or a pair of earrings, but sometimes fun socks or lip gloss -- specially chosen by The Mums, and presented to each of us just before the candles were lit to usher in the holiday. Now, I wear a piece or two of her jewelry on special occasions, an extra reminder -- as though I need one -- of her constant presence.
  5. Living on the west coast at the time, I didn't witness this event myself, but heard repeatedly about the time my mom went in the kitchen to tell the woman hired to help serve and clean up that it was time to ladle out the soup. "What soup?" she asked. When my mom said it was in the big pot on the stove, the woman had to explain that, thinking it was dirty dish water, she'd poured it down the drain. Yup, we still talk about the year everyone ate matzah balls as the first course
Passover's still a tough holiday for us -- and it probably always will be. But tonight, when we sit down yet again to retell the story of our Exodus from Egypt, may we all bring with us sweet memories of Passovers gone by, and may we make new ones to recall in the Passovers yet to be.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's  #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in  Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at  Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

#BlogExodus 13: Accept


Cognizant of the world's many real plagues, it would behoove me to get over the first-world personal plagues that trip me up every day, but for reasons unknown, I find it increasingly difficult to accept:
  1. Subway riders who don't remove their backpacks and purses.
  2. People who don't return phone calls or respond to email messages.
  3. Stop-in-their-tracks texters.
  4. Know-it-all millennials.
  5. Rudeness, from people of any age.
  6. Lack of downtime hours -- for unwinding, reading, writing, watching television, napping, doodling, and the like.
  7. Bullies -- on the playground, in the office, or at the other end of the phone.
  8. Liars.
  9. Interrupters.
  10. Lack of respect for deadlines and its effect on others.
  11. Incompetence, especially among supposed customer service professionals.
  12. Looking out only for #1.
  13. Incorrect grammar, lack of capitalization, and abbreviations, especially in texts.
  14. Idle chatter, particularly personal conversations in public places.
  15. Manspread.
  16. Obliviousness about one's surroundings, which can result in unintended rudeness.
What do you struggle to accept every day?

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's  #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in  Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at  Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.





Tuesday, April 19, 2016

#BlogExodus 12: Discover

Like so many others, I've discovered that my busyness is making it a challenge to #BlogExodus daily.

Unfortunately, it's late and I'm tired when I finally have a chance to sit down to write -- and there never seems to be enough time to think about what I want to say, to percolate the thoughts, or to generate something meaningful. In fact, tonight I wasn't even able to watch Episode 2 in Season 1 of Blue Bloods.

I'm hopeful that I'll somehow discover the right balance for the many things that demand my time...as well as for the many things to which I want to devote my time.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's  #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in  Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at  Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.


Monday, April 18, 2016

#BlogExodus 11: Rejoice

Tonight, on the advice of my sister, I am going to rejoice in doing what the rest of America does at night: watch television.

She's suggested that I would enjoy Blue Bloods and, since I have Amazon Prime, it appears that I can "watch now."

Stay tuned for a review, which may follow. For now though, I'm boosting my pop culture quotient -- just like the rest of America.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

#BlogExodus 8, 9, and 10: Deepen, Perplex, and Unite

Despite my best efforts, I have fallen woefully behind in #BlogExodus -- and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to catch up.

If only today's prompt was "Overwhelmed" or "So much to do and so little time," which, come to think of it, may be exactly how folks are feeling -- with cabinets to clean out, carpets to vacuum, floors to sweep, matzah balls to make, and brisket to prepare.

Whether it's Passover or not, why do we consistently try to cram too many things into too little time?

Having asked that question, I'm now going to let it go, and pick up tomorrow night with #BlogExodus 11: Rejoice.

Stay tuned...

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.


Friday, April 15, 2016

#BlogExodus 7: Examine

A number of months ago, Eli's, the bodega across Second Avenue from my apartment building, went out of business. Although I didn't go in often, I did use the ATM from time to time and when I was working crazy hours on "chicken, fish, or veggie," I often would stop in on my way to the office to pick up an egg and cheese sandwich. It was the ultimate comfort food during those long, stressful (and oh-so rewarding) weeks leading up to the Biennials of long ago. 

The other day, when I got off the bus in front of what had been Eli's, I noticed that the store's sign had been removed, exposing a sign from a previous business:


It's so interesting to peel back the layers and examine what lies underneath -- in places, in things, and, most especially, in people.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

#BlogExodus 6: Recount

Ever since I had the flu about a month ago (yes, I got a flu shot, but it was only about 60% effective this year), I've been trying to be in bed by 9:30. Not surprisingly, I feel better when I get enough sleep...and also not surprisingly, it's hard to hit that target consistently.

Having now given you that recount of my illness and the changed behavior that has resulted (on some nights!), I feel I can now retire for the evening.

Lilah tov, dear readers....sweet dreams.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

#BlogExodus 5: Hide

Some days it's nice to hide at home. A book and a cup of tea are company enough.

Some days I hide in my office, in plain sight, invisible, working, keeping my ideas under wraps.

In a city of millions, it's easy to hide -- right out in the open. While everyone chatters about narishkeit, I hide among them...

Alone with my thoughts.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

#BlogExodus 4: Grow

If I could grow a flower garden, I'd be sure to plant enough seeds to ensure a daily bouquet of patience, acceptance, optimism, happiness, curiosity, compassion, understanding, generosity, hope, and perseverance to carry out into the world with me.

What would you grow in your garden?

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

Monday, April 11, 2016

#BlogExodus 3: Purity

I have to be honest here: Initially, “purity” didn’t strike me as a particularly Jewish concept.

And, I’m not quite sure what, exactly, it has to do with Passover.
Nonetheless, our daily liturgy includes this prayer about the return of our souls to us each and every day:

Elohai, n’shmah shenatata bi
t’horah hi. Atah b’ratah, atah y’tzartah,
atah n’fachtah bi,
v’atah m’shamrah b’kirbi.
Kol z’man shehan’shamah b’kirbi,
modeh/modah ani l’fanecha,
Adonai Elohai v’Elohei avotai v’imotai,
Ribon kol hamaasim,
Adon kol han’shamot.
Baruch atah, Adonai,
asher b’yado nefesh kol chai
v’ruach kol b’sar ish.

The soul that You have given me, O God, is pure!
You created and formed it, breathed it into me,
and within me You sustain it.
So long as I have breath, therefore,
I will give thanks to You,
my God and the God of all ages,
Source of all being, loving Guide of every human spirit.
Baruch atah, Adonai, asher b’yado nefesh kol chai v’ruach kol b’sar ish.

Then I remembered this blog post and what my Aunt Claire said in it about our Tante Mina:
Tante Mina was a cousin. I don't know how she was related. She was a very short lady and we always used to measure our height against hers. At a very young age we found ourselves taller than her. To know her was to love her because she was so sweet and kind. She was widowed at an early age. I never knew her husband. She was rather poor, and as she got older she arranged to go to a Jewish home for the aged. She was very happy there; she loved the arts and crafts classes and also volunteered to feed those people in the home who were unable to feed themselves. She was a “gutte neshumah,” a good soul. We try to remember her because there is no one else to do so.
Although I haven’t quite connected the dots about purity and Passover, I do understand that to be a gutte neshumah is a worthy – and challenging – goal, and now, the beginning of this last new year of 5775, is a fine time to start striving to achieve it.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

#BlogExodus 2: Honor

Studying at a long-ago UAHC Kallah at Brandeis University 
One of the selections preceding the Mourner’s Kaddish in the Reform Movement’s prayer book says, in part, this:
We do best homage to our dead when we live our lives more fully,
even in the shadow of our loss.
For each of our lives is worth the life of the whole world;
in each one is the breath of the Ultimate One.
In affirming the One, we affirm the worth of each one
whose life, now ended, brought us closer to the Source of life,
in whose unity no one is alone and every life finds purpose
Whether I have lived it more fully or not, I definitely have lived each of the last nearly six years in the shadow of the loss of my mother. I best honor her memory (and feel closest to her) when I:
  1. Work to raise awareness about BRCA mutations and hereditary cancer.
  2. Study Torah, especially Lech L’cha (her favorite) and Pinchas, which includes the story of the daughters of Zelophehad.
  3. Speak my mind, which I don’t do often enough, but I’m getting better…
  4. Vote.
  5. Use the library.
  6. Nix a Marriott for a different hotel chain.
  7. Drink Dunkin’s coconut iced coffee (with a French cruller on the side, annually on Bastille Day, July 14).
  8. Root for the Yankees, even though I don’t follow baseball.
  9. Assuage irritability with a hefty “Feh,” or “A pox on her house!”
  10. Encourage friends to “Go with the right foot” to interviews, new jobs, and adventures of all kinds
  11. Gaze out on the Statue of Liberty and remember how lucky she and the rest of us are that her parents and my other grandfather, too, had the foresight, vision, courage, and moxie to leave eastern Europe in a timely way for the goldene medina.
Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's  #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

#BlogExodus 1: Start


This morning during minyan, we added Hallel to our worship to mark the new month of Nisan and, according to "the Rabbis," the third of the four Jewish New Years. (Rosh HaShana, Tu B'shvat, and Elul, the beginning of the fiscal year, are the others.)

A new, fresh start?

Perhaps, but it doesn't feel that way to me.

The calendar may say spring, but the thermometer doesn't. It's 40-some degrees today in New York City, and a cold, damp rain is falling.

It is as though the winter rut goes on and on, and I am a cog in the work-a-day world. I go to work, I come home, I go to work, I come home. Every day is nearly the same as the one that came before and the one that will follow.

With few exceptions, I feel bereft of intellectual stimulation, creative banter, and the collegiality that fosters sharing, engagement, and collaboration. Concurrently and collectively, the daily annoyances of life - the stop-in-their-track texters, the dig-into-my-head headphones necessary for nearly every meeting, and, perhaps most of all, the cadre of incompetent nimrods that has mishandled nearly every one of my health insurance claims since January - are just about enough to push me over the edge.

It's a good thing today's "Brother, Give Us A Word" from the Society of Saint John the Evangelist is "blessing," about which Br. Jim Woodrum writes this: "What you're searching for, you already know. God has blessed us with this amazing life, with eyes to see, ears to hear, a mind to discern, and a heart with which to perceive the living presence of God in our midst."

That ought to be enough to start to turn my thinking around….

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.