#BlogElul 5777: Pray

Last week, I received an email from a publicist inquiring if I would like a review copy of the new and updated edition of the The Book of Blessings by Marcia Falk. I jumped at the chance to acquire a copy of a book that has long been on my wish list.

As if in synch with #BlogElul, the book – full of poems, blessings, and prayers – arrived today, when the daily prompt is “pray.” How fitting.

It is late and I am tired, but even a quick perusal of the book’s pages tells me it overflows with spiritual beauty and sustenance. Its words, carefully strung together, form an intricate lattice that helps us reach our souls, our hearts, our God.

There is much exploring to do amidst its pages, but tonight, now, this is the blessing I pray:

Blessing Before Going to Sleep

Sleep descending
on my lids,
on my limbs,

I call to mind
the gifts
of the day—

the gift
of this day—
and give thanks.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Hear

Last week at a worship committee meeting at my synagogue, a committee member offered a d’var Torah about The Ani Tefilla Weekday Siddur, an Orthodox prayer book designed for high school students. It offers four different commentaries, interpretations, or explanations on each of the prayers recited during daily worship:

1. Biur tefilla: offers a thorough explanation of the text of the prayer, sometimes focusing on one word or phrase, as well as the prayer’s context within the service.
2. Iyyun tefilla: offers a philosophical and theological interpretation of the prayer.
3. Hilkhot tefilla: offers the laws and ritual requirements of daily prayer. (Hilkhot (laws) is from the same root as halachah (the collective body of Jewish religious law).
4. Ani tefilla (I pray or I am prayer): is designed to help students bring their own meaning to the prayer, making it personal and an extension of themselves.

The Ani tefilla for the Shema (the central prayer of Judaism that begins, “Hear, O Israel,…”) offers students this story:

Rabbi Eliezer Silver, a leader of American Orthodox Jewry in the twentieth century was president of the Va’ad Hatzala or the Rescue Committee for Jews who survived the Shoah. In that capacity, he travelled in post-war Europe looking for Jewish children who had ended up in non-Jewish orphanages, most often sponsored by the Church. In one such case he came to an orphanage in Alsace Lorraine asking if there were Jewish children there. He was told that there were none or that they could not be identified as such; their origins were unknown and they themselves had forgotten where they were from. Rabbi Silver insisted that he nevertheless be permitted to see the children and he was finally allowed to do so for a few moments before their bedtime. He walked into a room filled with beds of children preparing to go to sleep. He called out “ Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Ehad” and immediately a young child cried out “Mommy!” Soon other voices joined in as children began to come forward crying out for their mothers. “These children are mine,” he said to the priest. “I will take them now.”

Every time I think of this story, I get chills. What poignant reminders it offers us for the new year: to hear small voices, whether they belong to us or to others; to persist in pursuing what we know is right and just; and to work to find individual meaning in our prayers.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogExodus: Baffled by “Bless”

I’m a little bit baffled about the meaning of the word “bless.”  Nothing Merriam-Webster says about it strikes me as particularly Jewish.  Same with the online OED.

On the other hand – and not surprisingly – the explanation offered by ReformJudaism.org resonates with me:  “Throughout Jewish history, the deepest feelings and longings of the soul have been given expression in the form of blessings (brachot) for nearly every occasion, both ordinary and extraordinary, and a liturgy for both daily and sacred times.”

#BlogElul: Hope

Worn down and worried, I nonetheless remain hopeful that 5775 will renew my spirit, my sister's health, and our family's joy in being together.

In the new year, may we once again share laughter, good times, and the safety that comes from unconditional love for each other.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul: Begin

Moses Maimonides, the 12th century Jewish scholar and physician had this to say about maintaining physical health:

Since it is God's will that a [person]'s body be kept healthy and strong, because it is impossible for a [person] to have any knowledge of his Creator when ill, it is, therefore, his duty to shun anything which may waste his body, and to strive to acquire habits that will help him to preserve his health.

Heeding Maimonides' advice, back in July two Weight Watchers friends and I began meeting up in the exercise room in our building's basement at 6 a.m. three mornings a week to walk (and talk) on the treadmill for 30 minutes.

Although this practice hasn't necessarily increased my weight loss, it has helped my body begin to convert fat to muscle, resulting in a more shapely shape (I don't think I'll ever qualify as svelte).  It also has enhanced my overall energy level, mood, and outlook.

This morning, the three of us got to talking about target heart rate and so after my cool-down, I entered my age and the intensity of the workout (percentage of the maximum heart rate) I want to achieve before letting the treadmill calculate my target heart rate.

Armed with this information, on Monday morning, I will, indeed, "Press go to Begin," walking my way to a target rate of 152 beats per minute, as well as to a healthy and strong body for the new year and beyond.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul: An End-of-Day Haiku

Crazy, busy life.
Too much to do in each day.
Need a bedtime Sh'ma.

Lailah tov.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul: Looking for Love

As someone who has yet to stumble upon my bashert, I'm always interested to learn how individuals who are one half of a loving couple met originally. Answers often include:  in college, online, at a bar, at a singles' event, sitting next to each other on a plane or train, or fixed up by a mutual friend.

Funny, nobody ever says, "I met my bashert on Craigslist."

That idea got me to thinking...

Cue the dreamy, I'm-leaving-reality music...

 

Dear Craigslist,

I know that in addition to making matches between buyers and sellers of furniture, apartments, cars and jobs, among other things, you’ve also got quite a reputation as a forum for people in search of casual sex, friends with benefits and no-strings attached relationships, none of which is of interest to me. However, tired of waiting around for someone to fix me up, and frustrated with Jdate, match.com, eharmony and other more traditional online and offline venues for finding someone for a date (and maybe, just maybe, a great relationship over time), I’m turning to you in the hopes that you might be able to help me out here.   

1. I’m 51, so when I say “fifty-something” or “age appropriate,” I don’t mean 28 and I don’t mean 63. Fifty to 57 would be great.
2. I’m Jewish and although not religious in the traditional sense, it is an important part of my life in a liberal sort of way. Therefore, Jewish guys who still retain some attachment (even if it’s mostly cultural) to their heritage are most desirable.
3. Although I’m not looking to get married again (at least not at the moment), I also am not interested in meeting guys who already are married or are not quite divorced. It would be great if you could limit your selections for me to guys who are fully divorced, widowed or single, in that order.
4. I don’t have a specific “type” in mind when it comes to guys and I don’t much care about hair color, eye color or that sort of thing. At the same time, at 5’5”, I do appreciate guys who are at least 5’7” or 5'8". Please feel free to let your pool of candidates know that I’m height and weight proportionate (and stay that way with the help of the treadmill nearly every other day). I’ve got long, curly auburn hair, brown eyes and a great smile. I will be happy to send a recent picture (in which I am wearing neither baseball cap nor sunglasses) to serious suitors once we’ve exchanged a few emails and I expect that they’ll do the same.
5. Much more important to me than looks, though, is that you do your best to send me a mensch. Of course I don’t expect perfection (I’m old enough and seasoned enough to know that it only exists in fairy tales and the movies), but I would love to spend time getting to know someone who is honest, gentle and kind, seriously interested in finding the right somebody and not into playing games. I don’t really care about how much money he makes, whether or not he travels annually to the Caribbean or how many electronic gadgets he owns. Speaking of electronic gadgets, though, if we do decide to meet and chat over coffee or a drink (my preference for a first get-together), it’d be nice if he’d turn off his phone and wait until later to check his messages and emails.
6. I live and work in Manhattan and would like to meet a “local” guy. I’m also am open to guys who live in the other four boroughs, as well as close by in Westchester and New Jersey. However, Florida, Maine, and upstate New York are a bit out of the question. Some consideration of geographic boundaries would be greatly appreciated.
7. I know that these are tough economic times, but gainful, satisfying employment is a big plus as are solo living quarters unless, of course, the guy shares space with his kids – either full-time or part-time. (Although I don’t have any of my own and am way too old to have any in the future--I’m 51, after all—I’m definitely open to having other people’s kids in my life and hope that the guy you send me has a positive, loving relationship with his.) 
8. Although I don’t expect a response that rivals the Great American Novel, I do appreciate a few thoughtful, carefully written sentences about the guy you’re sending me. I’d love for him to tell me a bit about himself and his life, as well as what positive attributes he’d bring to a meaningful long-term relationship. Most undesirable in the response category are one-liners, canned text, photos with no words (and no shirts), and the totally out-of-context imperative “call me” with a phone number.
9. I know you won’t necessarily send me a guy who’s a carbon copy of me (that’d be boring), but it would be great if he and I had some shared values. (I know, I know…this is Craigslist. What am I thinking?!) High on my list are smarts, honesty, integrity, intellectual curiosity, kindness, family, friends and other things money can’t buy. Please don't send me guys who lie, steal or cheat.
10. Lastly, to make this thing really work, I hope you’ll be able to send me someone with whom I have that all elusive chemistry. Ideally, we’ll have an emotional, intellectual and physical spark that together we can coax into a wonderfully warm and glowing relationship that keeps us both from having to be in touch with you again for a long time to come (unless we’ve got an old desk or dining room table to sell!). 

Craigslist, I know that I may be asking for a lot here, but I’m optimistic that with these explicit instructions you may be able to come through for me, helping me bump into my bashert in the new year. Thanks for your careful consideration of my requests. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

~ JanetheWriter

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul: Dare

Frieda Vizel is a daring young woman. Based on press coverage alone, I know that she and her young son left the Hasidic community in which she was born and raised, she started her own company giving tours in Hasidic Williamsburg, completed college, and currently attends graduate school.

Most recently, she was called for an aliyah, and marked the occasion with a shechecheyanu blessing: 

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam,  shehechehyanu, v'kiy'manu, v'higianu laz'man hazeh.

In the new year, may Frieda -- and we -- continue to be daring, pushing the boundaries of our own comfort zones and creating opportunities for shechecheyanu blessings in our lives.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul: Change

Having passed the half-century mark more than 18 months ago, I am, for the most part, comfortable with who I am, and with the skin I'm in.

Nonetheless, if I had my druthers and could make some changes in my life, I might attempt to be:

1. Less impatient
2. More relaxed
3. More irreverent
4. Less eager to please
5. Less of a yekke
6. More forthright
7. Less gullible
8. More outgoing
9. More inquisitive
10. More flexible

On the other hand, if I was able to make all these changes successfully, would I still be me in all my quirkiness?  Would I still be comfortable with who I am? Would I still be the one in my skin?

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul: The Jewish Cellist

As regular readers of this blog know, my sister runs her own company, The Art of Perception, providing training to law enforcement and medical personnel, as well as other professionals in various fields to enhance their observation, perception, and communications skills.  She uses various works of art as the "data set," encouraging participants to describe -- objectively, concisely, and clearly -- exactly what it is they see.  

The following anecdote from one of her training session illustrates just how important it is to listen carefully, how dangerous it can be to make assumptions and judgments, and how necessary it is to step back and ask if we are justified in relying on those assumptions -- or if they cause us to misjudge or prejudge. 
  
Upon showing Thomas Eakins' The Cello Player to a roomful of law enforcement agents, the following exchange ensued:

Amy:  "What do you see?"

Participant:  "The man in that picture is Jewish." 

Amy:  "Well, that is a conclusion. What observations did you make to get to that conclusion?" 

Participant:  "That's easy; all musicians are Jewish." 

Amy:  "Well, now you have drawn two conclusions--that the man is a musician and that all musicians are Jewish. Walk me through your thought process." 

The participant proceeded to narrate her thoughts: "During WWII, the Nazis put Jews in concentration camps. In some of the camps, they formed chamber music groups so that when the Red Cross came through, they could see that everything was ok." 

Amy cut her off and said that in the painting, there was a man sitting in a chair playing a cello. Where did she see the Nazis, chamber music groups, or the Red Cross? 

The participant looked at my sister, irritated, and snapped back, "Well, you asked me what I thought of when I looked at the painting." 

To which Amy replied, "With all due respect, I did not.  I asked, 'What do you see, not what do you think.'"

We all have Jewish cellists in our lives. 

How did they get there?

What can we do to get rid of them?


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul: Ask

Last year as part of #BlogElul, I wrote this post about whether or not I ask too much of myself.

More recently, various events in my life have been so stunning and, in some cases, so frustrating that the only question I find myself able to ask, isn't even one suitable for a "family blog."  More and more often, I find myself throwing my hands in the air in disbelief and uttering, "What the #!$%@^$#%?!?"

I'm not particularly proud that this is the question I've been asking (and I certainly don't expect an answer), but sometimes, it's just the most appropriate initial inquiry one can make.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul: Pray

You know that old Jewish joke about synagogue services?

You know?... The one where Schwartz says that Goldberg attends synagogue to talk to God, but that Schwartz goes only to talk to Goldberg.

In the world of worship, I'm definitely a Goldberg...and I love when we get to this part of the Shabbat service:

We sit in community:
elbow to elbow, eye to eye.
So close, perhaps, we brush against each other
as we move in prayer.
Ears filled with the voices of friends, teachers, fellow travelers —
who pray with us from the next seat, from across the room.
We come to silence.
Rhythm of words, shared melody, hushed.

Connected first one to one to all,
we now let go.
To be alone
with the Holy One.
To speak in mind, and heart, and soul,
but not with lips.

The prayers we weave together cannot replace
that private conversation:
God, our partner awaits us:
One by one,
a miracle.

Just God and me...and the hopes and dreams, fears and wishes, gratitude and praise that are in my heart.

Just God and me...alone together.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Prayer and Celebration: A #BlogElul Post

Yesterday wasn't my usual Shabbat (and so I'm playing catch-up today).  I left the house a few minutes before 8 a.m. and didn't get home until almost midnight.

My social media check-ins, too, were anything but my usual ones.

Instead of this:

A check-in at Temple Shaaray Tefila  
Synagogue in New York, NY

My synagogue check-in looked like this:

A check-in at Temple Beth Am
Synagogue in Yorktown Heights, NY
 

And later in the day, a different synagogue:

A check-in at Woodlands Community Temple

Synagogue in White Plains, NY

It was a joy to pray and celebrate with friends at each, and in the new year, I look forward to visiting other synagogues (and a URJ camp, too!) to pray and celebrate more good times!

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima,this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogExodus: Believing

Graphic:  Phyllis Sommer

Tallit. Check.

Siddur.  Check.

Rain boots.  Check.

Believing that each of us is entitled to practice Judaism in a way that’s meaningful to us, later this morning I will head to Union Square, tallit and siddur in tow.  There, together with hundreds of others, I will join in solidarity with Women of the Wall—to pray and welcome the new month of Nissan, the one in which God redeemed us from Pharaoh’s tyrannical grip. 

I would like to believe that today’s demonstration of solidarity will, in some small way, hasten the day when women who wish to wear tallitot, to sing, or to read Torah at the Kotel will be free to do these things.  May the new month of Nissan be the one in which the barriers to women’s freedom at the Western Wall finally begin to be broken down.  Only then can all of us—men and women alike—be fully redeemed from the tyrannical grip of Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz’ policies that deny us the religious freedoms that are rightfully ours. 

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Nisan leading up to Passover 5773.

#BlogElul 8: Prayer

Terry, my college roommate—who has been a like-a-sister friend for more than three decades—came to New York on Friday for a long overdue weekend visit.  In the days before, we’d ticked through a number of possible activities for our time together and, at her suggestion, we added worship to our list of “definites.”  On her last visit to New York, we’d attended Mass at St. Patrick’s so this time around it would be Kabbalat Shabbat at Shaaray Tefila.  We opted for this particular service both because it’s shorter than the minyan and because it would leave all day Saturday free for whatever else we decided to do. 

In his drash, Rabbi Stein spoke about the randomness of that morning’s shooting at the Empire StateBuilding and the role of fate and mazel in our lives.  Later in the service, Terry was especially struck by this particular passage in the siddur:  “There is evil enough to break the heart, and there is good enough to exult the soul."  During our “debrief” over dinner, she also told me how much she enjoyed the service, the music, and all the congregational participation.  

Fast forward to Saturday at about 6:40 p.m. as we made our way around the beautiful fountain footprints of first the South Tower and then the North Tower of the 9/11 Memorial—our fingers gently touching the letters comprising the names of so very many souls lost on that day.  One in particular—Michael S. Costello—the boyfriend of one of her husband’s cousins, gave us special pause.  Terry told me he was "loud, fun-loving and a good guy."  We also talked about Neil David Levin, who, although we neither saw his name nor knew him personally, was a fellow alum of our beloved Lafayette College and, at the time of his death on 9/11, the executive director of the Port Authority. 

As dusk fell and the names became illuminated by the soft lights below, we talked more about fate, mazel, chance, and fortune, and also about the words from Mishkan T’fila that had caught Terry’s eye.  

May Stitch Costello, Neil Levin and the other 2995 completely innocent souls killed on that awful day rest in peace, and may 5773 usher in a time in which the good that exults our souls far outweighs the evil that breaks our hearts.

Daily Blessings

Earlier today I went to class, had a quick bite with one of my study buddies, and returned home with enough energy left to catch up on email and to poke around on Facebook for a while.  I even posted this status update:

Wow...energy seems to be coming back. What a good feeling!

More to the point, I believe today’s the day for this blessing:

Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, shegmalani kol tov.

I praise You, Eternal God, Sovereign of the universe, who restores me to health and safety.

Next week:  back to work!