#BlogExodus: Thank

Dear Alex,

I’ve experienced my fair share of “small Jewish world” stories – especially given that I work for Judaism’s Reform Movement – but nothing quite like what happened this week. So, I want to thank for being the catalyst that made the planets align in my world.

It started with your Facebook post:

"I am so grateful for all the Lafayette students I've worked with over the years. One of my favorites just stopped by my office and it was awesome to hear how well she is doing as a young professional in Chicago.

Shout-out to Laf alums who are my FB friends! Please comment with what year you graduated and what you are doing now."

I commented with this:

1985. Senior writer and editor at the Union for Reform Judaism, where I manage blog content and curate Ten Minutes of Torah, a featured blog post sent daily to a subscriber base of between 20,000 and 60,000 individuals.”

And then the conversation continued:

Alex: “Love it.”

Me: “And probably your ‘alumna of longest standing’ FB friend!”

Alex: “I think that honor actually belongs to Liza Roos Lucy!"

Liza: Class of '74 P '12 P '15”

Me: “Liza Roos Lucy Excellent....you win! :) Happy Friday!” 

Liza: “Jane E. Herman to be fair, I didn't know Alex from the time I was a student. I know Alex through my daughter, Elizabeth Lucy class of ’15 and because my cousin, Susan Katz is her friend.

Alex: “I think I am fortunate to know all of you!”

Me: “Liza Roos Lucy I don't know her from my student days either. I met her about five years ago when I spoke on campus as part of the Madame de Lafayette speaker series.”

This might have been the end of the conversation and the story, but for some reason, I went to Liza’s FB page to see a bit more about her and this is where the story gets a little, um, bizarre… because she’s from Honesdale, PA.

See, I have a longtime friend who is the once-a-month rabbi at historic Congregation Beth Israel, the Reform congregation in Honesdale. During the last few months, I’ve told him a few different stories, to which he’s always responded, “All roads lead to Honesdale.”

In fact, it seems they do. A while back, at a bus stop in New York City, a woman asked me about the boots I was wearing. We struck up a conversation while we waited, and I learned she has a home in Honesdale. When Gene Kelly had surgery a few months back, I saw on FB that he would be recovering at his parents’ house…in Honesdale.

And now this.

So, I sent this message and snippet of information from Liza’s FB page to my friend Elliott, who is not on FB:

Don't ask, but I'm in a FB conversation with a few people, and one of them has these "stats":

Studied at Lafayette College

Went to Wyoming Seminary Upper School

Went to Honesdale High School

Went to Wyoming Seminary Prep School

Lives in New Hope, Pennsylvania

Married

From Honesdale, Pennsylvania

All roads… 

He responded immediately: “Liza!”

Me: “You know her???”'

Elliott: “She’s a very good friend and president of the congregation.”

Me: “OMG....I'm going back on FB...this is the best small Jewish world story. OK if I share that we had this convo?”

Elliott: “Sure.”

That’s when I went back to your post and wrote this to Liza: “When I saw that you're from Honesdale, I reported in to my friend, Elliott, with whom I echat nearly daily, and, alas, another great small Jewish world story is born...Honesdale, Elliott, Laf Coll....wow!”

Here's the rest of the conversation that took place on FB Messenger.

Liza: “Whoa! You are Elliott's friend! I am president of Beth Israel in Honesdale where Smitty was rabbi for 44 years and now Elliott.”

Me: “I know!! Small, small world! I work at the URJ, where he used to work...and we've been friends for 15 years!”

Liza: “Did you speak a few years ago at a genetic counselor event?”

Me: “In Honesdale? No. At Laf Coll... yes, as a Madame de Lafayette speaker. I am a BRCA mutation carrier and very active in the hereditary cancer community, committed to raising awareness about these mutations, especially in the Ashkenazi Jewish community.”

Liza went on to tell me about her daughter, Alex, also a Laf Coll alumna and a genetic counselor specializing in breast cancer. She said that when Alex lived here in NYC, she and I spoke at a hereditary cancer event and according to Liza, “she will remember you.”

In the meantime, I was having a simultaneous conversation with Elliott…and anyone who knows me well knows that multi-tasking is not my forte.

Me: “Liza just asked me if I spoke at a genetic counselor event a few years back...the world is getting smaller by the minute!”

Elliott: “I had told her about you. Her daughter is a genetic counselor – specializing in breast cancer.”

A little while later, I connected on FB with Liza's daughter, Alex, who now lives in Philly, but we haven’t yet figured out at what event in NYC (or perhaps in Philly) we met.

Liza and I chatted a bit more before I had to get back to work, but I’m sure we’ll talk again – either on FB or perhaps even in person.

Sharing all this convoluted connectedness is not to demonstrate FB’s tremendous power of relationships, but really to thank you for expanding my Lafayette network, my genetic counselor/hereditary cancer network, and most of all, for giving me perhaps the best small Jewish world story ever!

Wishing you and your family a wonderful Easter,
~ Jane.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, March 30, corresponding to the Hebrew date 15 Nisan 5778. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts.

Challah Conversation

Who would have guessed that one comment about challah on Facebook could spark so much conversation?  But that’s exactly what happened when I posted this status update yesterday:

Challah on my mind...can't wait for tomorrow night!

Not only did the comment get 13 “Likes,” but the following conversation ensued:

Scott:  Yet another reason that I'm happy to be a Reform Jew :)

JanetheWriter:  Indeed!

Larry:  In my home growing up, we couldn't have had challah at mot'z'ei Pesach, because it would have been treif, baked on yom tov!

Lori:  not Saturday night?

JanetheWriter:  Nope...Reform Jews and Israelis celebrate seven days of Pesach.

Simon:  ... or at least "some Reform Jews and most (?) Israelis..." (?) I believe that American (and other) "Orthodox" and "other halachically observant" Jews who are in Israel for the chag are "supposed" to adhere to the eight days of their home. I'm not certain about those who have made aliyah. And there are some Reform Jews here in the USA who still stick to the eight days as well. Whoever said that anything is simple? :o))

JanetheWriter:  Very true. Here is my clarification: I am among the Reform Jews in this country who celebrate seven days of Pesach.

Simon:  ‎:o))

Jennifer:  Enjoy Jane!

Joanne:  I have to wait until Saturday night. Or, as a Reform Jew I don't, but I've always adhered to the eight-day holiday and I can't break it now. And Larry is right...everyone I know who observes Pesach kasher laws won't buy the challah until Sunday or Monday (and will check to make sure it wasn't baked on Friday--and certainly not Saturday).

Robin:  Wow....if only I knew! Enjoy some for me.

So whether you're already enjoying some post-Pesach challah or are holding out until tomorrow night, I wish you “b'tayavon!”

Biennial: It’s a Family Thing

A few weeks before the URJ’s recent Biennial convention, I received an email from a young rabbi and CCAR staff member who amicably inquired about whether his family’s hotel room (for himself, his rabbi wife, and their young daughter) could be near that of his mother (also a rabbi), his grandmother (who’s been attending Biennials for roughly 50 years), and his in-laws (one of whom is a cantor).

I responded with this:

Hi Dan,

I am, indeed, the right person for your request.

Currently, your room is slated to be adjacent to your mother's room.  I certainly can submit your other requests regarding her mom and your in-laws to the hotel, but cannot guarantee that they'll be able to get everyone close together.

Look forward to meeting you there,
~ Jane.

P.S.  On a personal note, I was very touched by your email and the "family affair" that Biennial is for all of you.  My mom, who died last year, loved Biennial and had been attending for longer than I've been working at the Union.  This will be my first Biennial without my parents in attendance...

Dan then graciously wrote again:

Hi Jane,

Thanks for taking care of this and submitting the extra requests!  This will really mean a lot to my family.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother.  It's pretty amazing that her love of Biennial predated your working at the Union.  If you'd like to have some family time, my family would be happy to adopt you!

Looking forward to meeting you in person, as well.
Thanks again!
Dan

Although I regret that I didn’t have a chance to meet Dan or his family, I did, ironically enough, meet some family of my own! 

It was Friday morning and as I left the room where I’d just finished co-leading a 20-minute learning session with the dcc on congregational blogging, a woman approached me:

“Are you Jane?”

“Yes…”

“I’m your cousin, Rena Riback.”

And indeed she is!  Her father, z.l., and my father were first cousins…her grandmother and my grandfather, brother and sister.

And so it was that thanks to Rena, I--like Dan--was able to have some family time at the Biennial, too. 

And how did she know I’d be there in the first place?  From the Facebook page of another Riback cousin, of course!

When I Was a First-Timer: Departure

Six years ago today, I was in the El Al terminal at JFK about to set off on my first trip to Israel as a participant in the Union for Reform Judaism’s Lech L’cha: Go Forth and Discover Mission led by Rabbis Lenny Thal and Elliott Kleinman.

Here’s what I scribbled in my travel journal as our group waited at the gate to board the overnight flight:

Twenty minutes from home to the entrance to JFK. Arrived very early at the airport and had coffee with Ma and Daddy before meeting up with Elliott and some of the group. Ma’s words to Elliott upon leaving me in his “care,” were something like, “Here she is. If anything happens to her, I’ll kill you.”

Security check-in was uneventful except for having to take my cell phone accessories from my suitcase for special x-ray. At the gate (B28) by 4:25 p.m., where I met and schmoozed with fellow travelers. A bit before 6 p.m. several men came through our group looking for minyan participants. Of course, they didn’t want me. Early on, Josh Goldstein earned my respect when he went to the minyan, but returned as soon as they had 10. Kudos to him for using his feet to vote for egalitarianism. Interesting to watch the others shuckle the ma’ariv service. More later…

Over the next few days I will, I know, read and re-read the entries from that journal a hundred times, remembering those incredible days and my whirlwind first visit to the center of the Jewish world. I’ve been back once since then, but I am, as always, trying to figure out how I might go again…this time for more than a handful of days.

Any ideas?

Let's Raise Hell

A few weeks ago, I wrote on the Union's blog about the ongoing controversy involving women wearing tallitot and praying at the kotel in Jersusalem. Earlier this week, Anat Hoffman, excecutive director of the Israel Religious Action Center (IRAC) was interrogated by police for her efforts to spearhead this sacred endeavor.

In this video, she talks with JTA's Ben Harris about the experience:



As she suggests, we can keep quiet or we can raise hell.

I'd vote for the latter. What about you?

A Day in DC: A Double Duty Blog Post

It’s four weeks into the semester and five weeks until I leave for Biennial and guess what? That’s right – I barely have time to breathe, let alone write cutesy posts for my blog.

For the time being, therefore, my most recent post on RJ.org will have to do double duty here. Of course, the topic is an important one so sharing my slice-of-life day in DC in more than one place shouldn’t be a problem, should it?

As always, thanks for reading. I’ll get back to writing here again as soon as I can.

Eat a Falafel and Chips for Me

A number of my friends, in commenting about “The Schmuck Parade,” my escapades in the I’m-searching-for-a-good-guy-in-NYC quest, have told me that they’re happy to take a back seat and live the adventure vicariously through me.

Although I can certainly appreciate vicariousness in certain situations, if given a choice, it’s not the way I’d opt to visit Israel. However, since it doesn't appear that I'll have the opportunity to visit there anytime in the foreseeable future, it’s the only mode of travel I’ve got at the moment. Lucky for me, though, with 300-some Reform rabbis gallivanting around Eretz Yisrael attending a professional conference this week in Jerusalem, I’m certainly getting a good dose of virtual Israel through them.

For starters, every afternoon at about the same time a certain rabbi calls from the Inbal Hotel to check in on what’s happening back home in New York. Bizarre as it sounds, when we chat, some of the magic of Jerusalem comes right through the phone and lingers in my office until long after we’ve ended our call. Yup, that’s Jerusalem for you.

Others are posting regularly on Facebook and their blogs. And so it is that I know that today, many of the women visited the Wall, where, as part of the observance of Rosh Chodesh, they created quite a ruckus by singing, which, according to traditional Jewish law, women are forbidden from doing in places where it can be heard by men. Here's a first-person account from one of the women who was there. And here's another perspective from one of the men. Although I'm not a rabbi and although I wasn’t there to sing in person, I certainly was there with them in spirit.

And then there’s the falafel. Before they left, I asked a few of the travelers to eat a falafel and chips for me. One, a young rabbi from Minnesota, gave me, again with the help of Facebook, a delightful description of his culinary experience yesterday:

Young rabbi: “I wandered around Jerusalem this afternoon before the conference started and managed to find my favorite falafel place at the Mahane Yehuda market. I didn't take the most direct route, but I found it, and had falafel in a pita with chips and hot sauce for you!”

Me: “You're the best! Thanks...hope you enjoyed it.”

Young rabbi: “I did enjoy. My stomach, not so much. :) But I'm still glad I had one.”

Me: “Should I take a Tums?!"

Young rabbi: “I think we'll be okay. :)”

Me: “Great! Enjoy the rest of the visit.”

Another, who’s hoping to post a lot of photos and video during the trip said, “I’ll try and capture myself with a falafel and chips…or more likely a schwarma." (Mission accomplished...that's him over there on the right.)

To which I replied, “Schwarma’s good too…enjoy!”

Indeed, in addition to falafel and schwarma, I hope that all those rabbis eat and drink so generously of the indescribable electricity, magic and spirit of Israel that when they return safely home they've got plenty left to share with the rest of us.

Travel safely and Godspeed, my friends.

Reform Judaism: It's the Right Brand for Me

A short piece on the Dallas News religion blog last week reported on a survey that indicates that most Protestants are more loyal to their brand of toothpaste and toilet paper than they are to their denomination.

Hmmmm…I wonder if that’s true for Jews, too.

As for me, although I definitely prefer Crest (the tartar protection paste) and Scott (the safe-for-septic-systems kind, not the fluffy kind), if push came to shove, I’d trade them both to hang on to my good ole liberal Reform Judaism. With its belief in informed choice and personal autonomy, and its wide array of free-thinkers who opine on everything from tzitzit and Limmud NY to communal prayer, the environment, this week's Torah portion, and our bonds to the history that brought an African-American to the presidency, it is, for sure, the right brand for me.