Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

How Framily Made Our Visit to Ojai So Magical


Once upon a time, in 1968, two little girls (one still in diapers) moved with their parents from New Jersey to Wheaton, Maryland. They didn’t know anyone who lived in Maryland, but their scientist dad had a new job at NIH, and the four of them lived in a garden apartment not far from Bethesda, where his office and lab were located.

Before long, their mom started to play bridge with other moms who lived with their families in the garden apartments. She met one mom from California who had three little girls, and the youngest was just a few months older than one of her little girls. Their dad was an engineer and a college professor.

The two families and the five little girls got to be friends. They befriended another family with a little girl, but her mom didn’t play bridge. They were from Baltimore, but had recently returned from Montana, where they’d lived near a Native American reservation where the dad had been a doctor with the U.S. Public Health Service.

The families did lots of things together, often riding into “The District” in the California family’s 1960 dark blue Chevy Nova station wagon. On the Fourth of July, they went to watch the fireworks on the National Mall; in the winter, they drove to see the National Christmas Tree, and in the spring, the beautiful pink cherry blossoms. The little girls from New Jersey loved to ride in the “way back” of the station wagon, look out the back window, and wave to the drivers behind them. It was much more fun than riding in their own black Chevy sedan with the “D.C. Last Colony” bumper sticker on the back.

The girls were in Brownies and Girl Scouts together, and when they weren’t in school or extra-curricular activities, they hung out together—playing Monopoly, Yahtzee, and hopscotch, riding bikes with banana seats, and sledding down snow-covered hills. The biggest girl, who could be very bossy (and hated raisins), sometimes bossed the littlest one around. The California family had a black cat named Troubles, and the New Jersey girls were afraid of him, especially after he scratched one of them on the nose. The Baltimore family had a parakeet whose cage sat on an old TV cart, and the little girl with the scratched nose liked to push the cart around the parakeet’s living room.

The New Jersey mom was a pre-school teacher at the JCC in Rockville, where the littlest girl went to school. Since the rest of the girls’ school day ended at lunchtime on Wednesdays (for teacher in-service training and development), the Baltimore mom watched the New Jersey mom’s older girl each Wednesday afternoon. The families pitched in to help out in other ways, too, like when one little girl had eye surgery and another had her tonsils out. (The little girl with the tonsils brought them home in a jar, and they sat on her dresser for a very long time.)

When the families celebrated Hanukkah and Christmas together, there often was homemade ice cream—from a hand-crank ice cream maker—for dessert. The girls also ate a lot of Spaghetti-O’s and Butoni toaster pizzas, even though the middles were always cold. 

One year, when the Baltimore family was away—probably in Baltimore—the New Jersey mom and dad planned a Hawaiian-themed New Year’s eve party. For days beforehand, they cooked a lot of chicken and pineapple to serve over rice to their guests and decorated their front door with travel posters for Hawaii, full of people wearing leis and hula skirts. Unfortunately, it snowed so hard that night, only the California mom and dad, who could walk from their building to the next, actually made it to the party. After the New Jersey girls were fast asleep and all the leftover Hawaiian chicken and rice had been packed away, the two moms and dads smoked marijuana—probably for the first time, and maybe the only time—that the California dad had gotten from someone at the school where he taught.

In 1972, the New Jersey family moved back to New Jersey, so the dad could teach at Rutgers. Shortly afterward, the California family and the Baltimore family each moved to a townhouse in the same complex as the garden apartments. When the California family moved back to California, they visited the New Jersey family on their way to the west coast. When the young lady (she wasn’t a little girl anymore) in the Baltimore family became bat mitzvah, the New Jersey family drove to Maryland for the simcha. They returned each summer to visit the Baltimore family, who by this time had moved into a house in Silver Spring, and so the little girl who had the eye surgery could continue to see the same eye doctor in Washington, D.C. In between visits, the Baltimore and New Jersey moms talked on the phone every Monday night—beginning at 11 p.m., when the rates went down.

In the summer of 1979, the New Jersey girls flew for the first time, when the family traveled to Los Angeles to visit the California family in Manhattan Beach. Together the two families visited Disneyland and Universal Studios, before the New Jersey family took off in their rented Datsun to visit San Diego, Ojai, and the Mohave Desert for a few days. Later that same year, the Baltimore family adopted a little girl, and the older New Jersey girl got to meet the baby only a few months later when she was in Washington, D.C. to attend a model United Nations conference for high school students. When the younger New Jersey girl attended law school in Washington, D.C., she visited the Baltimore family often. Her sister visited a few times when she was in Washington, D.C. for work.

Weddings, cross-country business trips, and Ma Bell kept the families connected throughout the 1980s and 90s, but never did all three gather in the same place at the same time. In 2002, the elder New Jersey girl, who lived in Los Angeles at the time, spent a lot of time with the California family in San Luis Obispo, while she got untangled from her marriage and prepared to return to the east coast. 

In 2010, the New Jersey mom died, followed in 2013 by the Baltimore mom. We like to think that wherever they are, they’re together in a place that includes plenty of outlet malls and deep discount warehouses and that they’re riding around in a big ol’, gas-guzzling Chevy Impala with lots of room in the back seat and the trunk for whatever glassware, placemats, or other treasures they pick up.

When the pandemic hit, three generations of the California family’s girls—sometimes joined by a fourth-generation toddler—and the New Jersey and Baltimore girls began meeting weekly on Zoom for Bi-Coastal Happy Hour (BCHH). When the littlest girl, living in New York City, announced a business trip to Ojai, California, plans for an in-person reunion kicked in.

For a few days in mid-August, the California mom, the six little girls, and a daughter of one of the California girls had a magical time together in Ojai—catching up, celebrating, remembering, reminiscing, and planning for the next reunion.

The end… but not really.

Sunday, August 15, 2021

#BlogElul 5781: Understand


Dear The Mums and Mrs. Steinberg,

I don’t completely understand where olam haba (the world to come) is located or exactly what you’re doing there, but I hope it includes plenty of outlet malls and deep discount warehouses and that you’re riding around together in a big ol’, gas-guzzling Chevy Impala checking them all out. I’m sure there’s lots of room in the back seat and the trunk for whatever glassware, placemats, or other treasures you pick up. Maybe there’s even a cafĂ© or two that serves Lipton (or was it Nestea?) flavored iced tea—orange for you, Mrs. S., and lime for you, TM,—so you can take a break from the bargain hunting when you get parched. Of course, I’m guessing, too, that the weather and the temperature are perfect, and there’s no need to run the A/C at all, let alone on “frenzy.”

Amy and I, though, may be running the A/C just that way this week, and I want to let you know where we’ll be and with whom we’ll be hanging out. She has a business presentation in Ojai, California, and I’m going along for the ride. Best of all, though, Barbara and three generations of the Harrises—a total of nine of us—are going to meet there for a few days of girls’ fun, including celebrating Amy’s birthday on Tuesday. I know—and you know, too—that you’ll be right there with us in spirit, marking the first time we will all have been together in person since, oh, maybe, 1972.

Like I said, I’m not so sure about the details of olam haba, and even though that’s where you are, a piece of each of you is forever in my heart.

xoxo

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Friday, November 23, 2018

5 Things I’m Grateful for This Black Friday…and Always

Photo: Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center
These people, places and things (but nothing with a SKU or UPC code) are bringing me joy and gratitude this Black Friday – and all year long.

5. Living and working in New York City


Despite my love-hate relationship with the city – its noise, crowds, transit system, and other offerings, good and not so good – there’s nothing quite like helpful New Yorkers, bodega coffee, or crossing 23rd Street against the light on a holiday morning when New York shows us its quiet side.

4. William, my trainer


From crunches to rowing, lifting to running, boxing to jumping, the two hours I spend under William’s guidance each week make me a partner in caring for my body, building physical and emotional strength, and expanding my world with a small view into the life of an Ecuadorian immigrant family.

3. Health and the insurance to help guard it


A visit to the Evelyn H. Lauder Breast Center at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center right before Thanksgiving each year not only reminds me not to take my health for granted, but also to remember the hundreds of people who, whether they know it or not, play a role in ensuring my inherited genetics don’t determine my destiny.

2. The minyan at Temple Shaaray Tefila


In a large congregation, it’s a blessing to slip into “my pew” on most Saturday mornings and to connect to the people around me, and the prayers, music, and rituals that will unfold in the coming hours. Torah study, too, connects me to my (ancient) people, unchanged by the millennia, but ever-changing because of my own new perspectives, knowledge, and “ah-ha” moments.

1. Family and friends


More than an individual's presence, it is the love, support, joy, laughter, humanity, honesty, attention, time, and more that we share with one another that makes my life rich and full. Thanks to the people in my village and in my world – near and far, new and not so new, known and unknown – I truly have everything I need.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

#BlogElul 5777: Fill

Here are nine reasons to recognize and remember my cup is filled, even (and especially) on the days it doesn’t feel as though it runneth over.

  1. A longtime job with generous health and other benefits.
  2. Longtime friends from all parts of my life.
  3. Family that still enjoys being together – even as we drive each other nuts by being ourselves.
  4. Coffee, including a Dunkin’ Donuts gift card that gets refilled for me from time to time.
  5. More books than I can hope to finish anytime soon.
  6. A synagogue community and weekly services that ground me. (They’d understand my desire to disappear right about now and resurface just in time to shake the lulav and breathe in the sweet scent of the etrog.)
  7. A newfound love of learning to lift weights and box (yes, you read that correctly) – activities that also ground me.
  8. A more than adequate roof over my head and a home that is a quiet refuge from the noise and other challenges of NYC living.
  9. Knowledge of a genetic flaw and the wherewithal to act in a timely way to ensure it didn’t take my life, as well as a willingness and ability to use those experiences to support others who are on a similar path behind me.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

#BlogElul 5777: Speak

I spent a lovely Shabbat afternoon -- quite unexpectedly -- shmying around on the UWS with two good friends. I'll let these pictures speak about the day:

Practice, practice, practice (or the Q train)
 
#tragicallyjewish

#tragicallyjewish

These words speak to me.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mike-pence-gay-man-nyc_us_584ae5c8e4b0e05aded39e0d

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Sunday, September 3, 2017

#BlogElul 5777: Count


Terry and I did a lot of counting today:
  1. We started with six bagels at the bagel store…plus one freebie for a total of seven.
  2. We each had one cup of coffee with our bagel, the first of the day for me, the second for Terry. I added a second (iced, this time) while we visited with my sister at Union Square.
  3. Perusing the Washington Square Outdoor Art Exhibit, I bought a solo print – Snow, SoHo, NYC – and three framed prints of New Yorker magazine covers, including the classic View of the World from 9th Avenue.
  4. Next, we landed at Think Coffee for more caffeinating and catching up. I had my third cup of the day (again, iced), and Terry had a caramel latte, topped with a lacy swirl of steamed milk.
  5. Caffeinated, we strolled across 13th Street to Barraca on Greenwich Avenue, where we shared four different tapas dishes – bombas,croquetas de jamon, broccoli a la catalina, and bruselas – and washed it all down with two bottles of Estrella Damm , a mellow Spanish beer.
  6. Our counting and calculating got a bit more complicated when we returned home and got to work hanging the three framed prints over the couch. Even with a tape measure, a ruler, and a math major, it took us – two fussbudgets – a few tries to get it all just so. It also took more than three nails – we lost count of the actual number – because I’m no Bob Vila when it comes to using a hammer. By the end of the evening though, I was pleased at how the triptych warmed up the room.
  7. Terry’s counting on me to go it alone in finding a frame for the print of a city snow scene, and expects it to be tidily hung by the time she returns in 12 months for our annual Labor Day weekend visit in 2018. 
In the meantime, I know I can count on her love, support, acceptance, and friendship – and she on mine – in the coming year. After all, they’re things we have offered each other unconditionally throughout the last 36 years. God willing, we’ll continue to do so for at least another 36 years, when we’ll be 90, counting the many blessings in our 72-year friendship.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Saturday, September 2, 2017

#BlogElul 5777: Trust

My college roommate, Terry, arrived in New York City this afternoon for our annual Labor Day weekend visit. It wasn’t long before we were in Starbucks, caffeinating and catching up. I trust we’ll do more than that this weekend, but I can’t guarantee it.

In all our friendships, may we always find abundant trust, love, acceptance, camaraderie, comfort, laughter, good times, support, and – of course – caffeine.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

#BlogElul: Act


August 17 marked 44 years since we Hermans moved into our beloved house at 12 Webster Road in Somerset.

In the days that followed, Amy and I met the neighborhood kids – the Clancys, the Toths, the Wards, the Kellys, the Bouridimoses, and the Luftglasses – and joined them in the bike-riding, game-playing escapades that would define much of the rest of our childhood.

By the end of the month, I’d already been invited to Susan Luftglass’ 9th birthday party. Today is 44 years since that pool party, and I have never forgotten her birthday or her gracious act to include me -- the new kid on the block -- in her celebration.

Of course we all miss the mark from time to time, but when we do, may acts like Susan’s – with their decades-long staying power – help balance the ledgers within our souls.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Rugalach from Nebraska

I love the way the Jewish world works.

Here's a case in point.

Last Thursday, I went with a friend to the Philadelphia suburbs for the funeral of another friend's father.

On the ride down, he said, "Don't let me forget to ask R. about a place near her for pastries." Another friend, this one from the midwest, wanted to send sweets for shiva.

On the ride back he said, "Sh*t, I forgot to ask R. about the pastry place."

I happen to have a cousin who lives in R.'s town, so I sent her this Facebook message: "Q: where near you can someone order pastries and sweets for a shiva--to be delivered? Thanks."

Within an hour, I'd heard back from her: "Edible Arrangements in Manalapan. Kosher deli?"

The conversation continued: "Kosher deli would be better."

She offered three possibilities: "Fred and Murray's. Or Jerry and Harvey's. Or Lox Stock and Deli in Miltown (my choice)."

When I got home, I emailed the information, including website links, to the midwesterner.

Her reply? "The guy on the phone was incredulous that he would get a call from a Jew in Nebraska!" 

Sunday, June 28, 2015

It's All About the Ping Pong Balls: Getting Our Priorities Straight

"If I had my life to live over again I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded."
-- Erma Bombeck
Last weekend I was in Philadelphia to attend Joining FORCEs Against Hereditary Cancer, the annual conference of FORCE: Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered, the largest national organization devoted solely to improving the lives of individuals and families affected by hereditary breast and ovarian cancer.

During the Friday morning no o'clock breakfast and training session for the many volunteers who were there from throughout the country, Diane, one of organization's leaders, demonstrated for us the value of prioritizing in our busy lives. Although it was neither a new nor an original demo, it was, without a doubt, an extremely timely and essential reminder in a room full of individuals whose time is at a premium.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Microwave Mishegas

This past Monday morning, the microwave in my apartment died.  No matter how hard or how gently I pushed the numbers on the keypad, nothing happened.  No beeps.  No buzzes. No breakfast. 

Already stressed a-plenty, I posted this status update on Facebook:
Dear Microwave,
Today you had to decide that the keypad wouldn't work? After I'd already added the water to my dry oatmeal and was ready to pop it in to nuke? Thanks to you, I've now got a few more things on my to-do list for today...including figuring out what I'm going to eat for breakfast tomorrow.
Thanks a lot, microwave.
~ Jane.
Once in the office, I called my landlord and although she offered to come into the city to replace the appliance, ultimately we agreed that I would purchase a new microwave, send her the receipt, and deduct the amount from next month's rent.  With that hurdle jumped, my Facebook status got this update:
I spoke to my landlord and have the OK to purchase a new microwave. Looking for 700 watts, white, all the usual features, online purchase (preferably from Amazon) so it will arrive tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest.
Suggestions? Recommendations? 
Like anyone has time to peruse the internets for me....
Overwhelmed by the endless options and choices,  I immediately emailed two friends, "Coupon King" and "Zappos Queen," this message:
You're so good at this...and I'm so bad at it.
Microwave parameters:
  • White
  • No more than $100
  • Turntable
  • Easy to use
  • All the usual features...mostly I use it for heating and defrosting
  • Free shipping
  • Delivery asap -- tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest
What can you find??
Thank you!
Within seconds, "Zappos Queen" responded,  "I’m on it."

A few minutes later, this link to a microwave available on Amazon.com appeared in my inbox.

After quickly perusing the parameters for both the .7 cubic foot and 1.1 cubic foot models, I posed these question to "Zappos Queen":  
Have you ever heard of this brand?
Is there any reason not to get the smaller one?  It has to fit on the top of the refrigerator -- and I have to be able to get it up there.
xoxo.
The Queen responded in two separate emails.  First this:
No reason not to get smaller one.
Then this:
Was the best selling white microwave on amazon with 4 stars.
Don’t overthink just order and move on with your day.
To which I could only respond with this truly heartfelt message:
This is one of the 10,000 reasons I love you! 
By the time The Queen responded with a hearty LOL, I had already ordered the microwave and moved on with my day.

After all, I always do exactly what she tells me to do! ;-)  

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Love Letter to Margate

Dear Margate,

Although our time together this week was short, we certainly made the most of it.  Thanks to you, a wonderfully gracious hostess, and her lovely, welcoming home, I relaxed enough that the stress-induced crick in my neck and shoulder nearly disappeared, my face got sun-kissed, and I spent time in a part of my home state that I don’t visit often enough. 

You’re a beautiful place, and you accommodated my friends and me well, serving up generous portions of warm sunshine, gentle breezes, and soft sand.  Mesmerized by the waves and their rhythm as they curled and dove into bubbly white foam that lapped at our feet, I could have walked your beach endlessly – north to Ventnor and Atlantic City, south past historic Lucy and on to Longport. 

In fact, when we weren’t sitting in sand chairs on the beach – talking, laughing, and watching the passing scene – we did lots of walking, strolling the boardwalks in Ventnor, Atlantic City, and Ocean City.  In that last spot, we sampled a few summer favorites, including popcorn, fudge, and Kohr Brothers frozen custard.  Needless to say, that wasn’t all we ate.  Seafood at Mike’s in Sea Isle City, pasta at Gaspare’s in Egg Harbor, and freshly prepared Asian fare at Little Saigon in Atlantic City – all washed down with Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc (my new favorite wine!) – made for wonderful dinners.  Plentiful breakfasts and lunches – fruit, yogurt, and salads, deli, sticky buns, and other sweet treats – generously prepared by our hostess, rounded out our meals.

Alas, all too soon, our rendezvous was over, and I found myself back in Manhattan.  I’m doing my best, though, to hold on to the ease you inspired and the relaxation you encouraged, as well as to appreciate fully the priceless gift you gave me – good times and good friends with whom to share them. Thanks again for everything, Margate.  I’m grateful to have spent time with you.

xoxo,

~ JanetheWriter.

Monday, April 14, 2014

#BlogExodus: Be

We Jews are a kvetchy people.

Tonight, when we gather 'round our seder tables, before the first glass of wine is spilled and before the Four Questions are asked and before the Hillel sandwiches are eaten, let us just be.

Let us be thankful for the friends and family who surround us, whether across the table or across the globe, and for the sweet memories of those whose chairs are now filled by others, but who live always in our hearts.

Let us not worry about whether the matzah balls are sinkers or floaters, but let us be grateful for the abundance of nourishing food we have to sustain our bodies each day.

Let  us not grumble about the wooden folding chair beneath our tushies (or begrudge those who are sitting in padded chairs).  Let us glance appreciatively instead at the ceiling above our heads, recognizing its value not only on this warm spring night, but especially on each of the many frigid nights that preceded it.

Let us put aside the first-world Egypts that challenge us from day-to-day, vowing instead to be...just to be...and to revel in our families, our friends, our freedoms, and the many other blessings that are ours.

Chag Pesach sameach!


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nissan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Monday, 14 Nissan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #Exodusgram prompts.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Letter to Chicago

Dear Chicago,

As I noted in a recent post, "I've visited Barrow, AK, but never Chicago, IL, except to change planes at O'Hare."  I think it's time that we finally meet IRL, and I'd like to check your calendar to see if there are some dates later this winter or in the spring that might be good for a visit.
 
There are lots of things I'd like to build into my itinerary, but it certainly will come as no surprise that at the top of my list will be seeing Phyllis and her family.  Even if there's nothing to say but "Hinneni" (as thousands of us have been doing--from near and far--for the last 18 months), I can hold her hand, hug her close, share her pain. If the weather's OK, maybe she, Michael and the kids will be willing to show me some sights--the zoo, a museum, or the skaters at Millennium Park. Or, maybe we'll spend an afternoon just hanging out in the kitchen that her pictures always portray as so very warm and inviting.

I'm hopeful that the timing also will allow me to visit with Rachel Roth, Stacey Zisook Robinson, Janine Mileaf, Stephanie Fink, Barb Leibson Shimansky, and Kate Heilman--as well as include tourist stops at the Art Institute of Chicago, the John Hancock Observatory, Wrigley Field, and an authentic Chicago deep dish pizza spot, the specifics of which I'll leave to the locals. (When my parents visited Chicago in the mid-1980s for a cousin's wedding, my mom brought home a pretty bangle bracelet for me from Marshall Field's.  Too bad that's not still a tourist spot...)

So what do you say, Chicago?  Please check your calendar and let me know what might work for you.  I'll set up a fare alert for LGA to ORD, pull out a hat, warm boots, and my mittens (even though I'm at that stage of life that makes it totally unnecessary for me even to button my coat in New York City), and hope we can make this visit a reality.

I look forward to an opportunity to follow the "Ground Transportation/Exit" signs at ORD and to seeing you (and my friends who live near you) sometime in the next few months.


~ Jane.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Blogging Love

While attending a family bat mitzvah in Sylvania, OH, this past weekend, I received an email message that I'd been mentioned in a tweet:

I nominate for #SunshineAward (jewishspecialneeds.blogspot.com/2013/11/presen…) @mom2mikey @bgiourme @rabbiisa @JanetheWriter @BarbMitzvah @CoffeeShopRabbi @ollibean

Many thanks to Lisa Friedman, who not only mentioned me in her tweet, but also nominated me for a #SunshineAward.  I'm honored that Lisa has provided an opportunity for her readers to learn more about me, and that she believes my writing makes a significant contribution to the blogging community.

As Lisa has already done, I am about to pay it forward by nominating other bloggers for a #Sunshine Award  based on the "rules" detailed in Lisa's post: 
  1. Acknowledge the nominating blogger (Thanks again, Lisa).
  2. Share 11 random facts about yourself.
  3. Answer the 11 questions the nominating blogger has created for you.
  4. List 11 bloggers. They should be bloggers you believe deserve some recognition and a little blogging love!
  5. Post 11 questions for the bloggers you nominate to answer and let all the bloggers know they have been nominated. (You cannot nominate the blogger who nominated you.)
Ready?  Here we go with 11 random facts about me:
  1. I knew from a very young age that I wanted to be a writer.  As part of a second grade book binding project, I insisted that the last page of my book be entitled "About the Author," which was a short (I was, after all, only seven) bio about me.
  2. Likewise, in The Homecoming, the movie that launched The Waltons television series, I was insanely envious of John-Boy, who received a stack of yellow writing pads as a Christmas gift from his Daddy near the end of the movie.
  3. I have two of the same tattoo, a fact that comes as no surprise to regular readers of this blog.
  4. In high school, I took a career assessment test.  The results suggested I'd be a good nun.  Hmmm...
  5. I studied Russian and Latin in high school.
  6. I'm a big fan of Jewish music and listen to it often.
  7. I'm not a big fan of television and have never seen a full episode of either Friends or Seinfeld.
  8. I'm incredibly out of touch with pop culture and couldn't identify Brad Pitt, Russell Crowe or Natalie Portman if my life depended on it.
  9. I could live on carbs--french fries, mac and cheese, and pasta (any shape or size) are my all-time favorites.
  10. I've visited Barrow, AK, but never Chicago, IL, except to change planes at O'Hare.
  11. I'm still in regular contact with Mrs. Chromczak, my fourth grade teacher
 Here are my answers to Lisa's 11 questions:
  1. If you could cast yourself in any reality TV show, which would it be and why? I have no idea...see #7 above!
  2. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?  Crunchy
  3. Favorite place to vacation? Someplace I've never been before...perhaps Chicago.  See #10 above!
  4. What animal most describes your personality? A canine mutt...happy to go out to explore and play during the day, but also wants to be snug and cozy at home each night.
  5. Favorite ice cream flavor?  Rocky road
  6. Cookie or cake?  Cookie, but only when it's a black and white, which, when it's done right, has the consistency of a moist cake.
  7. Describe your ideal day.  Sleeping in, breakfast out, writing in a cafe and then back home to read, relax and nap.
  8. What is your favorite season? Winter
  9. What is your favorite thing about blogging?  Love the writing...and the feedback!
  10. How do you relax? If I was better at it, maybe I wouldn't have high blood pressure?
  11. What did you have for breakfast? Yoplait Greek yogurt (vanilla flavor) over a cubed Ginger Gold apple.
Here are six blogs that I'm nominating for a #Sunshine Award. Although I wish it was 11, with limited time and energy, these are the blogs I read with the greatest frequency: 
  1. Ima on (and off) the Bima
  2. Superman Sam
  3. This Messy Life
  4. Greatest Escapist
  5. Stumbling towards meaning  
  6. Elevated Risk
The first five, like my own, are slice-of-life blogs while number six focuses on one woman's journey as a BRCA gene mutation carrier.  I hope you'll check out the works of these bloggers and that their words and experiences will move you as they so often move me.  Most of all, I hope you'll give these writers the blogging love that they so richly deserve for regularly and with tremendous grace and generosity putting themselves and their families "out there" in the blogosphere.

Finally, for the bloggers I've just nominated for a #Sunshine Award, here are my 11 random questions for you:
  1. What's your favorite book from childhood?
  2. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
  3. Coffee or tea?
  4. Favorite food?
  5. What was the make and model of the first car you owned?
  6.  Do you have a library card for the town in which you live?  
  7. When was the last time you used that library card?
  8. What's the most exotic or offbeat place to which you've traveled?
  9. Are you hosting Thanksgiving or being hosted?
  10. Did you pass your drivers test the first time you took it?
  11. What mode of transportation do you use most often to get to work?
May this nomination widen your readership and help your readers learn a bit more about you and what makes you tick.

Happy blogging!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Happy Birthday, The Mums

Dear The Mums,

It's a yucky day -- unseasonably warm and rainy -- in New York City so I hope there's good weather wherever you are and that you're enjoying your birthday.  If you see Larry Kaufman today, don't forget to wish him a happy birthday, too.  In addition to a love of Torah and the URJ, a November 17th birthday was something else the two of you shared.

There's lots to tell to bring you up to speed, so let's go.

Last night I had dinner with Karen and Phil Ott, who were visiting in New York for the weekend.  It was, as always, great to see them and, except for a few more gray hairs, they haven't changed at all!  Over dinner, Karen told me that you'd hung a bunch of different post cards over my crib, including Van Gogh's Starry Night.  She also told me that you often referred to me as Madame Nhu. Hmmm...based on what I read about her on Wikipedia, I can't quite figure that one out, but perhaps Daddy can shed some light on that particular nickname. 

Two weeks ago, I spent the day at Lafayette, where I was the November 6th speaker in the annual Madame de Lafayette series, which "seeks to recognize what it means to be a woman in the 21st century."  As I have done several times in the past, I spoke candidly about my BRCA journey, noting that had I heard a talk like my own when I was a student, the trajectory of our family's history had the potential to be different than it actually played out.  If my remarks help change the course of just one other family's history as it relates to hereditary cancer, you and I together will have added some good to the world.  (I'm not sure why the online publicity refers to me as Rev. Herman, but spending the day in Easton -- reconnecting with Bob and Sandy Weiner, meeting current students, many of whom are active in Hillel and/or members of Alpha Gam, and seeing Terry and Tom's Matthew, a Laf Coll freshman this year -- was, indeed, good for my soul!)

I'll have a chance to do more awareness raising about BRCA mutations at two upcoming events.  The first is  a Biennial learning session, where I'll be a panelist together with Rabbi Marci Zimmerman from Temple Israel in Minneapolis and Dr. Susan Domchek, Executive Director, Basser Research Center for BRCA.  In early February, I'm scheduled to speak at the Sisterhood Shabbat at Congregation Beth Or in Ambler, PA.  Terry's planning to come with me, and she and I are already planning to make a weekend of it!

As tough as the whole BRCA mutation journey has been, it is, at least, a harbinger -- something my friend Phyllis didn't have when leukemia struck her son, Sam.  He just turned eight and, despite a bone marrow transplant from SuperMensch at the end of August, the family's huge community learned this past week that the cancer has returned and, as she wrote on Sam's blog, "There is no cure.  There is no treatment."  The six of them -- Phyllis and Michael, Sammy and his sibs -- will be off to Israel shortly, where they'll be packing a lifetime of memories into the time they've got left.  We are so sad for all of them.  There are no words and, as I noted on Facebook yesterday, "Jacob isn't the only one wrestling with God this week."

I don't want to end on such a sad note so I'll tell you that Daddy and I are going to Detroit next weekend for Carolyn's bat mitzvah.  Amy and Ian, unfortunately, can't go, not only because of Amy's crazy travel schedule, but also because she recently signed a book deal (!) and her writer is going to be in New York at the same time she would be at the bat mitzvah.

One last thing:  It's certainly not a book deal, but I recently took on an interesting freelance project with the Mellon Foundation, thanks to my connection to Scott from New Hampshire, and I need to go do some work on it.  I'll write again soon.

Happy birthday, The Mums...miss you...xoxo,

~ Boo!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Ten Things Y'all Can Learn During a Visit to Jackson, Mississippi

Number 10:  It isn't food unless it's fried.

Number 9:  A sentence is not complete unless there's at least one "y'all" in it.

Number 8:  Southern hospitality is alive and well.

Number 7:  Few things are as important as college football.

Number 6:  The Mississippi Craftsman Center displays work of artisans who create gorgeous quilts, pottery, jewelry, sculpture, paintings, wood carvings, and other hand crafted items.

Number 5:  Jackson is home to Tougaloo College, an historically black college founded in 1869 to educate freed slaves and their children.  According to the National Science Foundation, it has graduated more students who have completed PhD degrees through the UNCF-Mellon Doctoral Fellowship Program than any other institution in the nation.

Number 4:  Historic Canton, Mississippi, a few miles up the road from Jackson, is home to the beautiful Greek Revival Courthouse featured in A Time to Kill, which was filmed entirely in Canton.

Number 3:  Eudora Welty, a native Jacksonian, lived and wrote in the same house for nearly 80 years.

Number 2:  Jewish geography works especially well in the south.

Number 1:  Nothing beats celebrating the marriage of two terrific friends -- destined to find each other in Utica, Mississippi -- in the place where they met...and gaining a few new "cousins" along the way!

Mazel tov, Anna and Nadav!

Monday, September 2, 2013

Der Mentsh Trakht un Got Lakht: A #BlogElul Post

Back in January, I started reading an unabridged edition of Les Miserables.  Under the best of circumstances, I figured it would take me about a year to read the whole book. As of today, eight months later, I’ve finished 285 of the book’s 1200+ pages. 

There’s no doubt that some of the time I might have devoted to Hugo’s tome I frittered away liking Facebook statuses, playing Words with Friends, and vegging out in front of the television with Alex Trebek, Mariska Hargitay, and Christopher Meloni as my sole companions.  And there also was the time I spent paying bills, shopping for food, cooking, washing dishes, changing linens and the like. 

It’s also true, though, that I spent other chunks of potential reading time attending Worship, Communications and Adult Ed committee meetings, being encouraged and encouraging others at Weight Watchers, and organizing and facilitating FORCE meetings for some of my local BRCA sisters.  I also talked to God at minyan, and on the phone nearly daily (sometimes more often) to my father, my sister, my Aunt Claire, and (not as often as I'd like) to friends in such places as Saratoga Springs, NY, Ventura, CA, and Hatboro, PA, among others.  Learning to chant Torah, blogging, and writing (and texting) condolence, mazel tov and refuah sh’leimah notes to friends around the country also pulled me from Jean Valjean and the rest of the book's characters.

Although I don’t have a lot of read pages to show for the eight months since I started on page 1, I do have a welcoming synagogue community, a supportive BRCA sisterhood, loving family and friends, and a rich, full life that, despite my best intentions, doesn’t leave me as much time as I think I would like for reading.

Is it any wonder that Got lakht?!

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Friday, August 30, 2013

A Sad End and a New Beginning: A #BlogElul Post

Earlier this week, a good friend's mother reached the end of her life.  It was more than unexpected -- tragically sudden, in fact -- made all the more so because my friend is to be married in October.

Ever since, the Unetanah Tokef has been echoing in my head.

This version from the machzor:


On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed,
And on Yom Kippur it is sealed.
How many shall pass away and how many shall be born,
Who shall live and who shall die,
Who shall reach the end of his days and who shall not,
Who shall perish by water and who by fire,
Who by sword and who by wild beast,
Who by famine and who by thirst,
Who by earthquake and who by plague,
Who by strangulation and who by stoning,
Who shall have rest and who shall wander,
Who shall be at peace and who shall be pursued,
Who shall be at rest and who shall be tormented,
Who shall be exalted and who shall be brought low,
Who shall become rich and who shall be impoverished.
But repentance, prayer and righteousness avert the severe decree.
And this one by Leonard Cohen:
And who by fire, who by water,
Who in the sunshine, who in the night time,
Who by high ordeal, who by common trial,
Who in your merry merry month of may,
Who by very slow decay,
And who shall I say is calling?

And who in her lonely slip, who by barbiturate,
Who in these realms of love, who by something blunt,
And who by avalanche, who by powder,
Who for his greed, who for his hunger,
And who shall I say is calling?

And who by brave assent, who by accident,
Who in solitude, who in this mirror,
Who by his lady's command, who by his own hand,
Who in mortal chains, who in power,
And who shall I say is calling?
But more than just pondering the words of the liturgy, the circumstances have prompted me to tell people in my life how very much I appreciate their presence and their friendship.
To C, who offered to help plan a gathering when our friend returns to New York, I wrote this:  "Life turns on a dime...and so thanks for your offer and for being my friend."

To E, who was at the out-of-town funeral because he always steps up to the plate for his friends, I said: "And with this sad reminder that life turns on a dime, I want to tell  you how much your friendship means to me.  Travel safely."

To S, who sometimes drives me nuts (and knows when he's doing it!), I added this postscript at the end of an email:  "I was reminded this week that life truly turns on a dime and so I just want to say that I appreciate having you as my friend.  You're a good egg."
And to V, who called yesterday during a work-from-home day, I reiterated the message:  I value you as a friend and a colleague, and I'm glad to have you as part of my life."
And so it is that from this sad ending comes a new beginning, the focus of which is not only feeling gratitude and appreciation, but also telling of the gratitude and appreciation.  In the new year, may we be blessed with good friends...and may we tell them just how blessed they make us.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima,this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Prayer and Celebration: A #BlogElul Post

Yesterday wasn't my usual Shabbat (and so I'm playing catch-up today).  I left the house a few minutes before 8 a.m. and didn't get home until almost midnight.

My social media check-ins, too, were anything but my usual ones.

Instead of this:

A check-in at Temple Shaaray Tefila  
Synagogue in New York, NY


My synagogue check-in looked like this:

A check-in at Temple Beth Am
Synagogue in Yorktown Heights, NY
 



And later in the day, a different synagogue:

A check-in at Woodlands Community Temple
Synagogue in White Plains, NY

It was a joy to pray and celebrate with friends at each, and in the new year, I look forward to visiting other synagogues (and a URJ camp, too!) to pray and celebrate more good times!

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima,this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.