Sure You Count, but Not for the Minyan

On my way to a break-fast tonight, I walked past what used to be Vintage Irving, a Union Square wine bar. The bar/restaurant, it appeared, had been converted into a shtiebel, at least for today. A kittel-clad man stood out front asking passers-by if they were Jewish; it seemed they needed one more for a minyan.

The man a few paces ahead of me said, no, he wasn’t Jewish, but wished the man a shana tova.

“You seem to know the lingo,” came the response.

“I’m not Jewish, but my mother was,” said the passer-by.

“Your mother was Jewish; you’re Jewish. Come on in.”

The man refused, politely, but stayed rooted to his spot on the sidewalk.

By now, I’d stopped, too, and without thinking said, “But you won’t count me…”

“Sure I count you,” the kittel wearer told me, “but not for the minyan.”

“Shana tova,” I said, continuing on my way.

I am Forbidden: A Brief Book Review

Remember when I posted this photo on Facebook back in March?

The caption said:  Look at how the package I received in today's mail was addressed! Stay tuned for details about what was inside...

Here are the details:  The package contained a pre-publication copy of I am Forbidden by Anouk Markovits, which will be published as the author's English language debut on May 8 by Hogarth Books, a division of the Crown Publishing Group.

That was the easy part.

The harder part is sorting out my thoughts and feelings about the book, which once I started, I couldn't put down.  Set in the Satmar Hasidic community, a place that seems narrower than the narrowest place in Mitzrayim, the story quickly swallowed me up.  Josef, Zalman, Hannah, Mila, Atara and Judith.  Transylvania, Paris, and New York.  World War II, 1968, 2005, today.  The characters, strictly confined by the 613 commandments, but always spinning, like Simchat Torah dancers, would, at first blush, appear to be spinning in place...year after year, baby after baby.  Some unexpected choices, however, take them to some unimagined places--within and beyond their community. 

Look for I am Forbidden in bookstores soon.

Shomer Shabbos Dos and Don’ts: A Quick Guide for Reform Jews

Late yesterday afternoon, I posted this update on Facebook:

Gift-wrapped kosher wine: check; long skirt and boots: check; phone turned off: check; no talking between hand washing and motzi: check. I'm off on an adventure...Shabbat shalom!

Based on my own experience (and that of several colleagues with whom I consulted beforehand), here are the top 10 dos and don’ts to keep in mind when visiting an Orthodox home as a Shabbat dinner guest:

10. Do wear a long skirt, long sleeves and other modest clothing.

9. Don’t bring flowers to your hosts. They won’t be able to trim the stems to fit them in a vase. Stick with kosher wine.

8. Do turn off your phone.

7. Don’t ring the doorbell when you arrive; knock instead.

6. Don’t offer to shake hands when you’re introduced to the man of the house or male guests.

5. Do follow the lead of others when it comes to ritual hand washing. Once you’ve washed your hands, don’t converse until after the motzi has been recited and you’ve tasted the wonderful pull-apart challah dipped in salt.

4. Don’t turn the light off in the bathroom. It will then have to stay that way.

3. When you leave with other people, don’t even think about hitting the elevator button. Instead, follow them to the stairwell and carefully walk down nine flights to the lobby.

2. Don’t get in a cab or on a bus until after you’ve wished them Shabbat shalom and parted paths.

1. Most important of all: Do try to relax and enjoy the gracious hospitality, delicious food and wonderful company of the evening. I did!

Shabbat shalom!