Facebook, Make Me a Match!

I’m continually amazed at how helpful my Facebook community can be.

Two cases in point:

Here’s the first one: This past Monday, having finished the reading for my econ class, but still baffled by the concept of “dead weight loss,” I posted the following status update: “Jane is hoping that someone out there in Facebook-land understands dead weight loss and can explain it better than Mankiw.”

Much to my delight, I received the following explanation from Dave, a guy who sat next to me in 10th grade algebra and with whom I’ve recently connected on Facebook:

“Jane, pretty simple if you think about it personally. Dead weight losses are those transactions that are not getting done because consumers factor in the tax of the transaction and decide, ‘no, that is just too much, i.e, sales tax.’ So if a Prada bag costs $2000.00 and that is all you had to spend, but then there was a 8.375 percent New York tax on it or an additional $167.50, you might choose not to buy it at all. Those lost transactions are the dead weight and create a surplus. Does that help?”

“Yes,” I replied. “It's a perfect explanation! Thanks! Do you teach economics? Where has life taken you since high school? Hope the years have been good to you...and thanks again for the clear and concise description of dead weight loss.”

From his response back to me, I learned that today, more than three decades after we were together in Mrs. Haley’s algebra class, Dave owns a technology contracting business and he has degrees in accounting and computer science. By his own estimate, he took something like five semesters of econ as an undergraduate at the University of Maryland and loved it. In today’s business climate, he says, everyone needs to be a micro economist. Hmmmm, Dave could definitely be my new best friend…

Here’s the second case in point: The next day, upon returning with painful shins from my fairly new, early-morning treadmill routine, I posted this status update: “Jane finished 20 minutes on the treadmill at level 3 (4 mph, top speed). Could have kept going except for the burning shins. Suggestions, FB friends?”

Within minutes, my Facebook friends came through for me again.

“The elliptical is much easier on body parts,” said one, a cantor I met last year at a L’taken seminar in Washington, DC.

Two Union for Reform Judaism trustees provided almost identical advice: “Check your shoes; you may need new ones…and after about 10 minutes, stop and stretch!” they said. One went on to email me a one-page, 30-minute treadmill workout that she's used successfully.

Someone else, a friend froam Lafayette College, whom I knew through Hillel, chimed in with this: “Hi Jane. My shins also bothered me when I started the treadmill. I spend about 2 or 3 minutes stretching out my legs before I start now and no longer have the problem. I Googled exercises for shin splints and saw a couple of videos on how to do the stretches. Good luck.”

All this relatively easy-to-come-by information (thanks, everybody!) got me thinking about other useful connections my Facebook friends might be able to help me make, and it wasn't long before I was connecting the dots...

As regular readers of this blog likely know, for some time now, I’ve been in search of (most unsuccessfully, I’m afraid) a 40- to 50-something (preferably someone born during Eisenhower's second term or the Kennedy administration), decent Jewish guy (single or divorced, with kids or without) for a meaningful long-term relationship. I'll spare you the details of my seemingly endless escapades in this endeavor, "lovingly" referred to by me as "The Schmuck Parade," but you can read about some of them here and here and here and here.

Although I don’t think I’m especially fussy with my “laundry list” of desirable qualities, thus far, even in this great city of more than eight million people, I can’t seem to find even one mensch who fits the bill as a potential partner for this happily divorced Jewish woman with no kids, manageable baggage and, I think, lots to offer the right guy. But, as a colleague of mine is fond of saying about various topics at hand, “It is what it is.” And so it is. Yet, I keep looking because ultimately I believe there is somebody out there for me -- somebody with whom I'll share an intellectual, emotional and physical conection -- but I just haven't bumped into him yet. And, while I certainly don't expect Mr. Right to be perfect (I'm not, by a longshot!), I do still hold out hope that someplace in this city (yes, even in the outer boroughs, Westchester or New Jersey) exists Mr. Right Enough for Me -- and that after some getting to know each other, the feeling will be mutual.

And, although I'm far, far from desperate (I'd rather be alone than with Mr. Wrong or even with Mr. So-So), I also believe that my already rich, full life would be even richer and fuller with someone special along for the ride. I am also of the mindset that while the pixels, bits and bytes of the internet are a fine option for some (yes, I've tried JDate, match.com, speed dating, and more recently some freebies including speeddate.com and plentyoffish.com, all to no avail), for others, a "fix-up" arranged by a real, live person is a far superior choice. Lastly, I believe that as with a job search, the more people you know who know that you're looking, the better off you'll be. Who knows which one of them might have a brother, a brother-in-law, a cousin, a nephew, a friend, a colleague or an uncle who's available and willing to invest an hour over coffee or a drink to explore the possibility that maybe, just maybe, we're right for each other?!

And so yet again, my Facebook friends, I turn to you. Help me out here?

Update: Ready, Set, Date!

Alas, it appears that I dissed 8minuteDating a bit too fast. Earlier this morning I received an email from them with news of a match. Included was contact information for Guy #5. Thankful for the possibility of further conversaton with him, I'll dash off a quick email shortly.

Right now, though, it's time to go watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

For other musings about our many blessings on this important day, check out my most recent post on RJ.org.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ready, Set, Date!

Last night a friend and I went to a “speed dating” event, the round-robin singles forum in which you meet eight different guys and spend eight minutes with each one. We’d registered for one for Jewish singles between 40 and 50 through 8minuteDating, which touts their events as “Eight Great Dates – One Fun Night!”

Well, not exactly…

For starters, although events are held only if a minimum of eight men and eight women register, at last night’s event, which had the minimum number of registrants, only five men and six women actually showed up. So, each woman had to sit out a round and, instead of meeting a total of eight men, we met only five. Likewise, each man met only six women, not the eight promised. It’s hard to believe that in this great city of more than eight million people, only 11 Jewish ones between 40 and 50 are interested in meeting other 40-something Jews of the opposite sex. Go figure…

With the ring of a bell, the first round starts and Guy #1 sits down across from me. He’s not bad looking and pleasant enough. He’s a corrections officer and we chat about various things. He’s originally from Long Island, has a sister who lives in Livingston and knows of the Eldridge Street Synagogue restoration from what he’s read in the press. When our eight minutes are up, the bell rings and he moves on. I, as instructed, jot down a few notes on my 8minuteDating “dance card.”

When round #2 starts, I’m the “Old Maid” and so the young woman who’s the event organizer comes and sits with me. We chat and those eight minutes fly by.

Round #3: Guy #2 sits down across from me. He’s French, speaks with a fairly heavy accent and seems otherwise non-descript. Frenchie’s an IT professional and proceeds to tell me all about anti-Semitism in France, but nothing much about himself. Eight minutes elapse and he’s gone. I fill in some details on my dance card.

Guy #3 introduces himself with a slimy handshake. Unfortunately, his personality matches and our eight minutes feel like 80. During that eternity, I learn that he’s a civil servant in human resources in Westchester, and likes to travel and work out. Thankfully, the eight minutes end and he moves on. Next to his name on my dance card, I write one word: slimy.

Then it’s my turn with Guy #4, who’s pushing 60 if he’s a day. He tells me he’s in commercial real estate, but before my eyes can glaze over, he (thankfully) picks up on the fact that I work for a Jewish organization. He asks me if I’ve ever heard of Central Synagogue. When I respond in the affirmative, he proceeds to tell me that he’s not religious and doesn’t keep kosher but when he attended an event there once, they had butter on the table when chicken was served. He thought that was totally disrespectful. We spend the balance of our time together discussing kosher style catering. Thank you, Biennial!

Finally, Guy #5... He’s cute and seems nice. Turns out that like me, he’s older than he looks and we marvel at our good fortune. Another civil servant, he works for the Social Security Administration and enjoys his role as a medical investigator. The conversation is easy and our eight minutes pass quickly.

With the last ring of the bell, the event is over and we all scurry home to sign in at 8minuteDating and indicate which of these people we want to see again. If a match is mutual, the company emails contact information to the “winners.”

Alas, I didn’t win any guys in this endeavor. The booby prize? A $5 coupon off my next 8minueDating event. Yeah, right…