#BlogElul 5777: Awaken

We’re more than halfway through Elul and until last night, I hadn’t yet heard the sound of the shofar. Its daily blasts during the month are supposed to awaken us and serve as a signal to get busy with the annual accounting of our soul that precedes the High Holidays. (When I lived in Los Angeles, where we could reach out the window and touch the building next door, a neighbor’s daily shofar blasts awakened me -- quite literally -- each day during Elul.)

Thank goodness, I’m back in New York, and thank goodness, too, there’s technology that let me watch a recording of a live stream from earlier in the day of cantorial student (and Shaaray Tefila's cantorial intern) Leah Shafritz’s fourth-year practicum. Her work focused on traditional Rosh HaShanah music and I enjoyed not only her beautiful voice and the melodies, but also her commentaries that accompanied each piece.

Toward the end of the practicum, she called for each of the four traditional shofar blasts – te’ki’ah, a long blast with one or two notes; sh’va’rim, three medium blasts, two tones each;te’ru’ah, nine short, staccato blasts; and te’ki’ah g’do’lah, an extra-long single blast – which were fulfilled, one by one, by someone out of range of the video camera. Nonetheless, as they always do, those blasts resonated in my kishkes (intestines), awakening me – even if not literally – to the forthcoming Days of Awe, and to the spiritual work surrounding them.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Pray

Last week, I received an email from a publicist inquiring if I would like a review copy of the new and updated edition of the The Book of Blessings by Marcia Falk. I jumped at the chance to acquire a copy of a book that has long been on my wish list.

As if in synch with #BlogElul, the book – full of poems, blessings, and prayers – arrived today, when the daily prompt is “pray.” How fitting.

It is late and I am tired, but even a quick perusal of the book’s pages tells me it overflows with spiritual beauty and sustenance. Its words, carefully strung together, form an intricate lattice that helps us reach our souls, our hearts, our God.

There is much exploring to do amidst its pages, but tonight, now, this is the blessing I pray:

Blessing Before Going to Sleep

Sleep descending
on my lids,
on my limbs,

I call to mind
the gifts
of the day—

the gift
of this day—
and give thanks.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Intend: A Haiku

I did not intend
To get caught up in late work
Oh, those kvetchy Jews

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Seven Things to Learn in the New Year

As a lifelong learner, I’d like to learn (at least) these seven things in the new year. Some of them, in fact, may take a lifetime to learn.

1. It’s not personal, even if it feels that way.
2. I cannot control everything, but I can control my reactions.
3. Don’t worry until it’s necessary.
4. Life isn’t always fair.
5. Good guys don’t always win.
6. Not everyone who leads is a leader.
7. At the end of the day, leave the day behind.

Time to get busy!

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Remember

Photo: Flickr user @Heartlover1717/CC

It’s relatively easy to write about kindness and forgiveness and trust and understanding. It’s much harder to remember to do them.

May I remember to be kind, even when I’m frustrated.

May I remember to forgive, even when the sting of being wronged still burns.

May I remember to trust, even when I must also remember that we’re on the same team.

May I remember to be understanding, even when we don’t see eye to eye.

May I remember to be compassionate, even when I’m angry.

May I remember to be accepting, even when I don’t understand.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Count

Terry and I did a lot of counting today:

1. We started with six bagels at the bagel store…plus one freebie for a total of seven.
2. We each had one cup of coffee with our bagel, the first of the day for me, the second for Terry. I added a second (iced, this time) while we visited with my sister at Union Square.
3. Perusing the Washington Square Outdoor Art Exhibit, I bought a solo print – Snow, SoHo, NYC – and three framed prints of New Yorker magazine covers, including the classic View of the World from 9^th Avenue.
4. Next, we landed at Think Coffee for more caffeinating and catching up. I had my third cup of the day (again, iced), and Terry had a caramel latte, topped with a lacy swirl of steamed milk.
5. Caffeinated, we strolled across 13^th Street to Barraca on Greenwich Avenue, where we shared four different tapas dishes – bombas,croquetas de jamon, broccoli a la catalina, and bruselas – and washed it all down with two bottles of Estrella Damm , a mellow Spanish beer.
6. Our counting and calculating got a bit more complicated when we returned home and got to work hanging the three framed prints over the couch. Even with a tape measure, a ruler, and a math major, it took us – two fussbudgets – a few tries to get it all just so. It also took more than three nails – we lost count of the actual number – because I’m no Bob Vila when it comes to using a hammer. By the end of the evening though, I was pleased at how the triptych warmed up the room.
7. Terry’s counting on me to go it alone in finding a frame for the print of a city snow scene, and expects it to be tidily hung by the time she returns in 12 months for our annual Labor Day weekend visit in 2018. 

In the meantime, I know I can count on her love, support, acceptance, and friendship – and she on mine – in the coming year. After all, they’re things we have offered each other unconditionally throughout the last 36 years. God willing, we’ll continue to do so for at least another 36 years, when we’ll be 90, counting the many blessings in our 72-year friendship.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Trust

My college roommate, Terry, arrived in New York City this afternoon for our annual Labor Day weekend visit. It wasn’t long before we were in Starbucks, caffeinating and catching up. I trust we’ll do more than that this weekend, but I can’t guarantee it.

In all our friendships, may we always find abundant trust, love, acceptance, camaraderie, comfort, laughter, good times, support, and – of course – caffeine.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Forgive

I have, in one way or another, committed each of the misdeeds on this list. Please forgive me. As always, I’m striving to be a better person in the year to come, which is the most we can ask of ourselves.

Angering myself and others

Beating a dead horse

Criticizing

Differentiating among equals

Eye-rolling

Failing to keep in better touch

Gossiping

Hopping to conclusions

Impatience

Judging others

Kvetching

Lacking compassion

Minimizing others

Not paying attention

Offending

Pushing buttons

Quitting without finishing

Refusing to think broadly

Schadenfreude

Tardiness

Unnerving others

Valuing things over people

Wasting time

Xenophobia

Yelling

Zooming in on the negative

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: See

I’m sure I’m one of only a handful of people who actually reconciles my credit card statement with my receipts, but I like to see that everything is in order before I pay the bill each month.

Tonight, I saw a charge that gave me pause – and it wasn’t one I had tracked in my spreadsheet of expenses. (Yes, I track my expenses daily in a spreadsheet…stop laughing.) A few phone calls later a fraud case has been opened, my card has been canceled, and a new one will arrive on Tuesday.

In the meantime, this experience serves as a reminder to pay attention, look closely, and remember that just because we may see things a certain way doesn't mean everyone else sees them that way. too – all good lessons as the new year approaches.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Hear

Last week at a worship committee meeting at my synagogue, a committee member offered a d’var Torah about The Ani Tefilla Weekday Siddur, an Orthodox prayer book designed for high school students. It offers four different commentaries, interpretations, or explanations on each of the prayers recited during daily worship:

1. Biur tefilla: offers a thorough explanation of the text of the prayer, sometimes focusing on one word or phrase, as well as the prayer’s context within the service.
2. Iyyun tefilla: offers a philosophical and theological interpretation of the prayer.
3. Hilkhot tefilla: offers the laws and ritual requirements of daily prayer. (Hilkhot (laws) is from the same root as halachah (the collective body of Jewish religious law).
4. Ani tefilla (I pray or I am prayer): is designed to help students bring their own meaning to the prayer, making it personal and an extension of themselves.

The Ani tefilla for the Shema (the central prayer of Judaism that begins, “Hear, O Israel,…”) offers students this story:

Rabbi Eliezer Silver, a leader of American Orthodox Jewry in the twentieth century was president of the Va’ad Hatzala or the Rescue Committee for Jews who survived the Shoah. In that capacity, he travelled in post-war Europe looking for Jewish children who had ended up in non-Jewish orphanages, most often sponsored by the Church. In one such case he came to an orphanage in Alsace Lorraine asking if there were Jewish children there. He was told that there were none or that they could not be identified as such; their origins were unknown and they themselves had forgotten where they were from. Rabbi Silver insisted that he nevertheless be permitted to see the children and he was finally allowed to do so for a few moments before their bedtime. He walked into a room filled with beds of children preparing to go to sleep. He called out “ Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Ehad” and immediately a young child cried out “Mommy!” Soon other voices joined in as children began to come forward crying out for their mothers. “These children are mine,” he said to the priest. “I will take them now.”

Every time I think of this story, I get chills. What poignant reminders it offers us for the new year: to hear small voices, whether they belong to us or to others; to persist in pursuing what we know is right and just; and to work to find individual meaning in our prayers.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Understand

Following up on yesterday's #BlogElul post, “understanding” is another area in which I regularly seem to come up short – especially when it comes to some common societal behaviors and patterns. Watching the passing scene in a Starbucks earlier today, I easily and almost immediately identified three things I don’t understand:

Tattoos: Even as I prepare to have my own tattoos redone next month (hoping three’s the charm), I don’t understand the popularity of sleeve and sock tattoos – or, on a similar note, the attraction of hair dyed to match cotton candy.

Cell phone dependence: I am always baffled by couples who sit together in restaurants, intently bent over their phones. Are they texting each other? Texting other people? Scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat? How badly do they want to be with the person sitting across the table?

Cell phone photos: This afternoon, I took a tour of the New York Public Library. It was fascinating, and most of the group listened intently to the docent throughout the hour-long tour. There were a few people, though, who seemed so busy photographing and videotaping the surroundings (it is a beautiful, historic structure) that they could not possibly have heard the docent’s remarks. I can’t help but wonder what they’ll remember about the New York Public Library once they’re back home – and what images and ideas from the tour will remain with them, not their phones.

(I did take one photo during the tour – in the McGraw Rotunda – and it is above. The first in a series of four murals by Edward Laning that depict the history of the written word, Moses with the Tablets of Law, shows Moses returning from atop Mt. Sinai to find the Israelites worshipping the Golden Calf. The other paintings in the series show a medieval monk copying a manuscript; Johann Gutenberg displaying a copy of his Bible; and Ottmar Mergenthaler using the linotype machine he invented.)

Even as my father tells me repeatedly: “You can’t know too much," I do know I have little need to understand any of these things (or the many others that often perplex me). In the new year (and always), may I continue to learn and grow, concentrating on topics and ideas that truly interest and intrigue me instead of those that only highlight my lack of understanding of others’ choices.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Want

One of the places I seem to come up short consistently, missing the mark throughout the year is in the area of “self care.”

Sure, I keep what feels like a gazillion doctors’ appointments each year to take care of my medical needs, and working out with a trainer twice a week, I’m now taking better care of my body in a new and different way.

But there’s so much more I want to do, and that I should be able to do – without guilt.

Take Breaks: “Breaks are the epitome of self care," says this article , and, in fact, I have an app on my work computer that pops up hourly, telling me to do just that. I want to do what it tells me – when it tells me to do it – without worrying about taking the time, or stressing about what new work will await me when I return to my desk.

Take Human Bites: The same is true for lunch, about which the article’s author says this:

Sometimes I treat self care as a reward. I’m so hungry I can barely think, but I’ll force myself to finish a batch of work before I eat lunch. What I’m really doing is making my job more difficult by allowing myself to run on fumes.

OMG, has she been watching me at work?! Going forward, I want to make a conscious effort to stop for lunch (even though there’s no communal lunch space in my office), and stop the “daily scarf” that often ends with heartburn, indigestion, and what my father the parasitologist politely terms “gastrointestinal distress.”

Schedule Downtime: I want to learn not to overbook myself and that it’s okay to block out time just for me – to read, nap, watch the clouds, watch television, play Words with Friends, or do some other mindless thing to give my mind a break and let it refresh and recharge itself.

Indulge in Retail Therapy: Sure, I live on a tight budget, but that’s exactly why I’ve got a “freelance fund” for retail indulgences (and I use that term very loosely). Although it’s good to know it’s there for a rainy day, I want to learn to use it, on occasion, for things I want -- just because. Included on that list at the moment are this and this and this.

Yes, this is an ambitious list, but I know there’s nothing wrong with wanting any and all of these things, and I’m going to do my best to at least get some of them before the end of Elul. Stay tuned to keep track of my progress.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: 6 Things to Accept This Elul

Here are six things I'm pondering -- and trying to accept -- this Elul and throughout the coming year:

1. Transitions: They’re hard, but staying put too long in one place can be harder.
2. The World: It doesn’t always work the way we were taught it’s supposed to work. But, it's filled with beauty, grandeur, and mystery that is ours to discover.
3. Life: It is what it is, and it isn’t always fair.
4. Hard Work: It’s supposed to pay off. Sometimes it does…sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, it’s not because you didn’t actually work hard; some things just aren’t in our control.
5. Change: Despite the annual messages and lessons of the High Holidays, change is really hard, and it becomes harder with each passing year, as we become more set in our ways and in our thinking.
6. People: They are who they are and they aren’t likely to change (see #5 above). However, looking for and finding a divine spark -- or even an ember -- in each one may make accepting the nudniks, the egomaniacs, and the kvetches a tad bit easier.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Choose

For nearly as long as I can remember, I’ve been indecisive. It’s hard for me to choose.

When my dad was teaching me to ride a bike and I fell off, he told me to get back on. Through tears I told him, “I want to, but I don’t want to.”

It’s been my sort-of mantra ever since, and more often than not, I’m happy to let others choose the restaurants we eat in, the movies we see, and where we sit in the theater. When I say, “I’m flexible,” it usually means “I can’t decide; you choose.”

And yet, I’ve been faced with some excruciatingly difficult and painful choices over the years – things only I could decide. Each of these decisions has made me infinitely stronger and more determined to steer my life in the direction I want it to go.

In 5778, may we all make wise and timely choices – whether the consequences are trivial or significant – and may our choices enrich and strengthen us immeasurably.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Prepare

I wasn’t prepared for how much I would love the gym. Yes, that’s correct – I love the gym.

In March – on a whim – I began working out twice a week with a trainer. It is like nothing I have ever done in my life before, and has helped restore my faith in some basic tenets of the world:

• Working out is, as is much in life, hard, but if it was easy, everyone would do it.
• Hard work has its rewards. In this case, they include improved fitness, better health, positive feedback, a willingness to stretch my body – and my mind – to learn new skills, and an overall grounding that, little by little, is spilling over into other parts of my life.

I was wholly unprepared for any of these rewards and I am both surprised and grateful to have them. Although it may not be possible to prepare for such unexpected blessings, may we all experience them in 5778.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Search

Dear Elul,

I know you’re a big deal month on the Jewish calendar, but quite honestly, I’d like to hibernate when you show up. Okay, maybe not the second you roll around, but starting about midway through, I’d be happy to sleep right through to Sukkot.

I’m sure my lethargy has something to do with too many years of working for the Jews, or as my friend Victor likes to say, being enlisted in “HaShem’s Army.” It’s exhausting (and frequently infuriating) and, sadly, leaves me with little energy or mental bandwidth for my own holiday preparations or logistics. By the time Rosh HaShanah finally arrives, I have no patience for pews crowded with strangers – Who are all these people and if they really want to be here, why are they talking so much?! – and little inclination to tackle the spiritual heavy lifting the season demands.

This year, I’m in search of new, creative ways to embrace the High Holidays – beyond #BlogElul (which is a true gift each year). I don’t yet know what those things will be, but I’m open to ideas, suggestions, and possibilities that will offer opportunities for meaning, fulfillment, and community. They’ll make me eagerly anticipate (or at least not dread) services (and all that goes with them), and won’t make me wish I already was at the tail-end of a break-fast. Even if they can’t do all that, I’m hopeful that whatever I decide to do, it will help alleviate – even if only a smidge – my I-want-to-hibernate blues.

It’s a tall order, I know, but I’m optimistic that you (maybe in collaboration with Tishri?) are up for the challenge. What do you have for me, Elul?

Thanks,
JanetheWriter

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Act

"A bat mitzvah is someone who knows that the world is not a stage, -- that we are not puppets who mouth someone else’s lines, and marionettes who dance to yet another person’s tune, -- that we need not be ashamed of our own face, our own mind, and our own choices, -- that we do not have to hide from ourselves and the world under a blanket of corrosive makeup which not only quickly becomes indelible, but which also hardens, becomes cold to the touch, and does not allow any room for growth."

These words were spoken by the rabbi at my bat mitzvah more than four decades ago. Although I didn’t necessarily understand them then, experiences in the intervening years have changed that.

Having spent many years living under a blanket of corrosive makeup pretending all was well in what was (in hindsight, of course) an emotionally abusive marriage, today I try to speak my own lines, to dance to my own tune, and to play the lead, makeup free, in what is my show.

In my show, that means spending time and energy on people and activities that bring meaning and richness to my life -- without making excuses to myself or anyone else for doing anything but that. My family and friends, my synagogue community, volunteer work on behalf of FORCE: Facing our Risk of Cancer Empowered and its members, and working out in the gym all fit the bill. Sometimes, though, it means making time just for me, a book, and a Dunkin' iced coffee, and I'm finally learning to be okay with that.

In my show, I’m a writer and editor in a Jewish organization. Solidly on the "communications" side of the "marketing and communications" team, I strive to curate well-written, high quality digital content for a daily email sent to a subscriber base that numbers between 20,000 and 60,000 inboxes, depending on the day of the week Sometimes, the content I choose is deemed “too Jewy,” a term I understand, but find distasteful. Even though I know it's not personal, it feels that way, but I'm slowly learning to act like it doesn't matter to me -- even though it still does.

In my show, I regularly notice (and all too often am disproportionately annoyed by) stop-in-their-tracks texters, sidewalk-clogging tourists, people who don’t say “good morning,” “thank you,” or “excuse me,” those who talk too loudly on their cell phones, and others who block pedestrian thoroughfares because they're convenient for conversations, as well as the way too many, like, oh-my-god, like, millennials who seem to think the world revolves around them. I’m doing my best (although sometimes not too successfully) if not to ignore them, then at least not to let any of them or their antics get under my skin.

None of this is easy and there are plenty of days I still feel as though I’m mouthing someone else's lines and dancing to someone else's tunes instead of directing and acting in my own show. Thankfully, though, there’s always room for growth – especially at this season.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul: Return

While we humans are busy at this season, turning and returning -- to the selves we once were, to the selves we want to be -- the world carries on, spinning forward with its burdens...its wars, its famines, its diseases, and its other hardships in tow.

And so, too, do we.

We do not do this work in a vacuum.

Even as we hope and pray and promise and strive to be the best that we can, we do so amidst the burdens the world shares with us -- amidst hunger, cancer, unemployment, poverty, shame, drug addiction, child abuse, violence, family estrangement, alcoholism, financial hardship...the list goes on and on.

And yet, we continue to turn, year after year, to the place of return within ourselves, working to be the selves we once were, striving to be the better selves we know we can be.  Again and again and again, at this season each year, we turn and we return.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam for encouraging and enabling us to turn and to return, even as the world spins us forever forward on its axis.

May you be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a good and sweet year.  Shana tova u'metuka.  


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is the last in this year's series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul: Give

One of the definitions of "give," today's #BlogElul prompt, is a noun that means capacity to bend or alter in shape under pressure; elasticity.

This definition reminds me of a wall hanging in a friend's home that says:  I used to be an oak, but now I am a willow. I can bend.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam for giving us give enough to bend like a willow in order to weather life's storms.  

In the new year, may I increasingly recognize and appreciate my own ability to bend. Amen. 


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul: Intend

I didn't intend to get so impatient with my Dad....I'm grateful we can do things together.

I didn't intend to get so frustrated with my colleagues...I'm grateful to have a job.

I didn't intend to get so overwhelmed with my overloaded calendar...I'm grateful to have a rich, full life.

In the New Year, I intend to be more patient with my Dad...and to keep doing things together with him.

In the New Year, I intend to speak up...in the workplace and elsewhere.

In the New Year, I intend to schedule time for me, even if it's just to stay home and read...or do nothing at all.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam for giving us a fresh opportunity to be the people we continually intend to be.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.