#BlogElul: Change

I’m having company for brunch and as I was transferring the whitefish salad – one of my favorites – from the Fairway container to a serving bowl, I took a taste.

Suddenly, a flood of whitefish-eating memories from this season in years past rushed in, I guess because it was always such a treat on the lunch buffet at those long-ago meetings.

Frequently, the United Nations General Assembly was in session, creating chaos in the neighborhood, but even if it wasn’t, there always were lay leaders, committee reports, and a d’var Torah. Often, someone blew the shofar, its echo filling a room that always felt warm and collegial -- even if my lenses are a little rose-colored. If there weren’t enough seats, staff members sat on the radiators along the windowed side of the room, in chairs along the opposite wall, or perched on the counters in the back. The microphones at the end of each aisle captured speakers’ comments, questions, and concerns, but not before they’d clearly stated their name and congregation for the record. At some point at each gathering, the president spoke and I hung on every word – engaged, motivated, and proud.

Change is hard...and sometimes time only makes it harder.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Merry Chrismukkah, Jimmy

Nearly four years ago, I wrote this post, which was supposed to be the first in an occasional series.  Although it's been much longer than I intended, I'm glad to bring you the next installment about another person in my neighborhood.  This is Jimmy Vignapiano, who works in the mailroom at the Union for Reform Judaism and brings me my snail mail each day.  Our conversations usually go something like this:

Me:  Hey, Jimmy...How are you?

Jimmy (handing me my mail):  Miss  Jane...just a little crappola today. 

Me (rolling my eyes if there's a lot of mail):  Thanks, Jimmy.  Have a good one.

Earlier this week at the URJ Hanukkah party (where longtime employees are honored on their milestone anniversaries), Jimmy and I sat at the same table.  When I got back to my seat after accepting a certificate and gift marking my decade with the Union, Jimmy told me that when he celebrated his fifth anniversary with the URJ, he received a kiddush cup.  After 10 years, he received a chanukiah.  What he told me next made me chuckle:  Today, the kiddush cup hangs on the Vignapianos Christmas tree and the chanukiah sits on the mantle in their home.    

Merry Chrismukkah, Jimmy...Merry Chrismukkah, indeed!

Biennial: It’s a Family Thing

A few weeks before the URJ’s recent Biennial convention, I received an email from a young rabbi and CCAR staff member who amicably inquired about whether his family’s hotel room (for himself, his rabbi wife, and their young daughter) could be near that of his mother (also a rabbi), his grandmother (who’s been attending Biennials for roughly 50 years), and his in-laws (one of whom is a cantor).

I responded with this:

Hi Dan,

I am, indeed, the right person for your request.

Currently, your room is slated to be adjacent to your mother's room.  I certainly can submit your other requests regarding her mom and your in-laws to the hotel, but cannot guarantee that they'll be able to get everyone close together.

Look forward to meeting you there,
~ Jane.

P.S.  On a personal note, I was very touched by your email and the "family affair" that Biennial is for all of you.  My mom, who died last year, loved Biennial and had been attending for longer than I've been working at the Union.  This will be my first Biennial without my parents in attendance...

Dan then graciously wrote again:

Hi Jane,

Thanks for taking care of this and submitting the extra requests!  This will really mean a lot to my family.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother.  It's pretty amazing that her love of Biennial predated your working at the Union.  If you'd like to have some family time, my family would be happy to adopt you!

Looking forward to meeting you in person, as well.
Thanks again!
Dan

Although I regret that I didn’t have a chance to meet Dan or his family, I did, ironically enough, meet some family of my own! 

It was Friday morning and as I left the room where I’d just finished co-leading a 20-minute learning session with the dcc on congregational blogging, a woman approached me:

“Are you Jane?”

“Yes…”

“I’m your cousin, Rena Riback.”

And indeed she is!  Her father, z.l., and my father were first cousins…her grandmother and my grandfather, brother and sister.

And so it was that thanks to Rena, I--like Dan--was able to have some family time at the Biennial, too. 

And how did she know I’d be there in the first place?  From the Facebook page of another Riback cousin, of course!

Biennial Redux: Make New Friends But Keep the Old

Rather than bore you with details about food and beverage fiascos at the Union’s recent Biennial convention in Toronto, let me tell you about the other side -- the hugs, the smiles, the reconnects and the new friends who previously existed only on Facebook and in cyberspace.

A few in particular come to mind:

Early on, I met Rachel Turry Roth, managing director of the American Conference of Cantors in Chicago. We’d had numerous email and Facebook exchanges in recent months, but hadn’t ever met face-to-face. That happened on Sunday (or was it Monday?) night in the lobby of the Fairmont Royal York Hotel. Lucky for both of us, we were able to steal away for a late-night cup of tea on Tuesday (or was it Wednesday?) in the hotel’s Gold Level lounge. How nice to have a new friend!

In the wee hours of Thursday morning, I posted this status update on Facebook: Saw lots of Facebook friends in person today. Especially looking forward to meeting Phyllis Sommer tomorrow! To that, Phyllis (aka Ima on (and off) the Bima) responded: Can't wait to meet you too! Hanging out at O’Hare waiting for my flight...

A few hours later, there she was – standing right next to me there in the staff office. And, although we chatted only briefly before she rushed off to present at a workshop and I returned to counting meals, Phyllis and I exchanged cell phone numbers and – if we’re lucky – will have more of a chance to get acquainted the next time she makes it to New York or, by some travel fluke, I make it to Chicago.

Marge Eiseman commented on that post as well: Find me tomorrow -- ok? I'm working at Reeva’s 'Ritings with Ruach in the exhibit hall...all afternoon/evening. Although we didn’t connect in the exhibit hall, we did catch a hug when we spotted each other just outside the plenary hall the next day…or was it Saturday? No matter…if I do ever make it to Chicago, a side trip to Milwaukee for a real visit with Marge will definitely be on my itinerary.

Like Phyllis, Andy Busch popped into the staff office, providing me yet another opportunity to meet someone who previously existed only as a signature block in our email exchanges. Andy and I share roots in central New Jersey, so it was an especially nice connection to make. Lastly, I chatted briefly on an up escalator with Billy Dreskin, with whom I’d previously emailed, but never met. In addition to talking about the use of technology in synagogues, which was the context of our initial emails, he told me that he reads my blog.

“The Union’s blog?” I asked.

“No,” he said, “your JanetheWriter blog.”

Hmmm…Who’d a thunk?!

One more note about Biennial connections: On Sunday, I received this Facebook message from Alan Mason (Alan and I “met” a while back when I wrote about his cantorial concert for the Union’s blog):

Dear Jane,

I was looking forward to meeting you at the Biennial, but a serious injury prevented me from traveling and playing the piano for the Shabbat service. I loved reading the posts and updates, and seeing the photos, but it made me even sadder to not be there. I am in a cast from my elbow to my fingers, with a broken wrist and lower arm, but I am doing amazingly well, will have a full recovery, and will be playing the piano very, very soon.

I always enjoy your posts, updates, and news from the Union.

Alan

I responded and we went on to have a brief exchange of messages over the last several days. At Alan’s request, I will, once again, plan to write a piece for his 2010 cantorial concert, which is scheduled for January 23, 2010 in Miami. Stay tuned for details.

Of course, not all my Biennial connections were new ones. I was lucky to cross paths with Peter Schaktman, Michelle Pearlman, Antoinette and Stuart Matlins from Jewish Lights Publishing, Sally Neff, Ilene Bogosian, the LAs from the RAC and countless others on my endless treks through the Metro Toronto Convention Centre during the course of the week.

And, at the end of the day, isn’t that what Biennial’s all about?

Comfort Music

Today was perhaps one of the most difficult days of my professional life. Although I still have my job, many of my friends and colleagues at the Union for Reform Judaism were not so lucky. “Sad” and “emotionally exhausted” don’t even begin to scratch the surface of how we – individually and collectively – feel.

And so I’ve turned to “comfort music.” Pouring from my iTunes tonight as I go about the chores of the evening are the ballads of Billy Joel, Barry Manilow, the Carpenters and Harry Chapin, among others. And, although the songs can’t take away all the pain (or substitute for my favorite comfort foods -- chocolate pudding and mac and cheese), I do know all the words, can sing along (off key and loudly!), and, even if just for a little while, escape to simpler days and happier times.