Be a Jew: A #BlogElul Post

Each year at the Temple Shaaray Tefila Confirmation service, when Rabbi Stein speaks to the Confirmands, he tells them this story (with my apologies to him, and to Jack and Rose if I haven't gotten all the details quite right).

When he lived in Indianapolis, he used to like to go to the schvitz, where he would sit and schvitz.  Frequently, sitting on the bench and schvitzing next to him was Jack, a man who had been in the military and had a lot of stories to tell. And so the two of them would pass the time sharing stories, getting to know each other and schvitzing.

When Jack's mother, Rose, died, Rabbi Stein officiated at the funeral.  After the funeral and shiva were over and the two men were back in the schvitz schvitzing, Jack told Rabbi Stein that before the funeral, he'd forgotten to tell him one important thing about his mother.

Before Jack headed off to begin his military service, his mother had told him that he'd encounter many different types of people and situations in the world.  No matter what he found, however, she urged him always to remember this bit of wisdom:

Zyyan ʼa ʼyd.
Be a Jew.

Zyyan ʼa mʻntş.
Be a mensch.

Zyyan ştʼarq.
Be strong.

Wisdom, indeed...for the Confirmands, for any young person heading out into the world, and for us, too, as we approach the High Holidays.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

So I Guess I’ll Have to Do it While I’m Here: A #BlogElul Post

As regular readers of this blog know well, I'm fond of most things Jewish -- and most especially contemporary Jewish music.  Among my favorite artists in my iTunes library is Peri Smilow, and among her works, When I'm Gone gets repeated often on my iPad.

In addition to loving her beautiful, crystalline voice, I think the lyrics (which together with the music were written by Phil Ochs) are a good fit for today's #BlogElul prompt:  Do.

There’s no place in this world where I’ll belong when I’m gone
And I won’t know the right from the wrong when I’m gone
You won’t find me singin’ this song when I’m gone
So I guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here

And I won’t feel the flowing of the time when I’m gone
All the pleasures of love will not be mine when I’m gone
My pen won’t pour out a lyric line when I’m gone
So I guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here

And I won’t breathe the brandied air when I’m gone
And I can’t even worry ‘bout my cares when I’m gone
Won’t be asked to do my share when I’m gone
So I guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here

And I won’t be running from the rain when I’m gone
And I can’t even suffer from the pain when I’m gone
There’s nothing that I can lose or I can gain when I’m gone
So I guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here

And I won’t see the golden of the sun when I’m gone
And the evenings and the mornings will be one when I’m gone
Can’t be singing louder than the guns when I’m gone
So I guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here

All my days won’t be dances of delight when I’m gone
And the sands will be shifting from my sight when I’m gone
Can’t add my name into the fight when I’m gone
So I guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here

And I won’t be laughing at the lies when I’m gone
I can’t question how or when or why when I’m gone
Can’t live proud enough to die when I’m gone
So I guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here

So, whatever you're doing -- to appreciate our magnificent world and its grandeur, to make your corner of it a better place, to show the people in your life how much they mean to you -- keep on doing it.

Hug your kids.

Dance with them around the living room.

Watch the sun set.  If it's from the deck of a cruise ship, good for you.  If it's on a street corner near home, put your grocery bags down until the orange orb dips below the horizon.

Ask questions.

Seek answers.

Sign a petition.

Run for office.

Apply to graduate school.

Finish your degree.

Study the petals of a flower in your garden.

Write the poem that's in your head.

Play hookey to play miniature golf.

Go hang gliding.

Ski the expert trail.

Rent a Citi Bike...but don't forget your helmet.

Ride a dirt bike...don't forget your helmet on that one either.

Look for the rainbow after a sun shower.

Sing out loud.

Vote.

Learn to use a potter's wheel.

Find the good in every person.

Tie on a bungee cord.

Take a leap of faith.

Live with no regrets.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Go With Your Gut…the Kishkes Know: A #BlogElul Post

When she was younger, my sister used to say that when it came to choosing an apartment, a job, or a man, she’d just know if it was right on the first walk-through, the first interview, or the first date. She’d feel it in her gut.

I, too, have found that often I know the answer to tough questions because I feel it in my gut. However, it’s one thing to feel it, and another to listen—especially if your gut is telling you he isn’t your bashert, this isn’t your dream job, or the apartment’s not the right one for you.

With time I’ve learned not only to feel what’s in my gut, but also to listen to what that feeling is telling me—even if it’s a message I don’t necessarily want to hear.  In 5774, may I have occasion to use these skills and, most of all, may I use them well.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Accept People Where They Are: A #BlogElul Post

Today’s #BlogElul prompt brought to mind the “Serenity Prayer,” sometimes attributed to theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, and most often associated with Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

If we believe that the High Holidays present us with an annual opportunity to change the things we can, then it is equally important, I think, to recognize, as well, those things we cannot change—and learn to accept them, or at least change the way we respond to the people behind them.  In no particular order, these 10 actions (or inactions) get my hackles up:

1. Using poor grammar
2. Waiting to look for one’s MetroCard until one is already in front of the fare box
3. Unreturned phone calls and unanswered emails
4. Texting on the subway steps
5. Leaving a restroom with unwashed hands
6. Ignoring wait staff, doormen, and other service workers
7. Allowing elderly riders and those carrying children to stand
8. Tossing cigarette butts in the gutter
9. Using the express check-out when one’s basket includes too many items
10. Having personal phone conversations in public places

Although I try not to “go there” myself, I cannot change the people for whom these and other disagreeable (to me) actions are regular habits.  I can, however, attempt to accept that others may have valid reasons for "going there," and try, really try, not to be so judgmental…even if it is only in my head.

Note to self:  Try to be more accepting of people and their actions, remembering that it's impossible to know where they're coming from—or where they're going.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.  

It's Up to Me: A #BlogElul Post

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.  

Changing the Way We Act: A #BlogElul Post

Several months ago, I joined Weight Watchers (for the first time ever) and in the last 12 weeks or so, I’ve lost approximately half the amount I need to, on my way to attaining a healthy goal weight.  It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve been diligent—lots of fruits and veggies (zero points), lots of water, lots of tracking, not enough treadmill, and lots of planning, portion control, and asking myself if something is “worth the points” before I dig in.

As much of an eye-opener and a challenge as losing weight has been, I know it will be even harder to keep it off.  Most of all, though, I’ve learned that weight loss and weight management are all about behavior modification—changing the way we act toward food.

In that way, I think the High Holidays are a lot like Weight Watchers.  They’re all about heightened awareness of our behavior coupled with willingness and determination to change, when necessary, the way we act toward others.  And, just as we can experience weight loss when we act differently toward food, so, too, when we act differently toward each other can we experience richer, deeper and more meaningful relationships.

And, just as Weight Watchers knows that there will be weeks in which the needle on the scale moves in the wrong direction, so does our tradition know that teshuvah is hard work and that we likely will falter and miss the mark from time to time.  Nonetheless, in the same way that I return to Weight Watchers week after week to keep my actions with food on track, Judaism allows us to continue our work to act more kindly toward others even once the High Holidays are over--letting us weigh in throughout the year to make sure the needle on the scale is moving in the right direction.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Where's JanetheWriter's #BlogElul Post?

Today my #BlogElul essay is over on the blog associated with ReformJudaism.org.  I hope you'll click over there to read what I've got to say...it's a topic that's near and dear to my heart and if you think about it, you probably can guess what it is.  But don't just guess, take a click over there and see for yourself!

Stay tuned here for more #BlogElul in the coming days.