#BlogExodus 7: Examine

A number of months ago, Eli's, the bodega across Second Avenue from my apartment building, went out of business. Although I didn't go in often, I did use the ATM from time to time and when I was working crazy hours on "chicken, fish, or veggie," I often would stop in on my way to the office to pick up an egg and cheese sandwich. It was the ultimate comfort food during those long, stressful (and oh-so rewarding) weeks leading up to the Biennials of long ago. 

The other day, when I got off the bus in front of what had been Eli's, I noticed that the store's sign had been removed, exposing a sign from a previous business:

It's so interesting to peel back the layers and examine what lies underneath -- in places, in things, and, most especially, in people.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

#BlogExodus 6: Recount

Ever since I had the flu about a month ago (yes, I got a flu shot, but it was only about 60% effective this year), I've been trying to be in bed by 9:30. Not surprisingly, I feel better when I get enough sleep...and also not surprisingly, it's hard to hit that target consistently.

Having now given you that recount of my illness and the changed behavior that has resulted (on some nights!), I feel I can now retire for the evening.

Lilah tov, dear readers....sweet dreams.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

#BlogExodus 5: Hide

Some days it's nice to hide at home. A book and a cup of tea are company enough.

Some days I hide in my office, in plain sight, invisible, working, keeping my ideas under wraps.

In a city of millions, it's easy to hide -- right out in the open. While everyone chatters about narishkeit, I hide among them...

Alone with my thoughts.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

#BlogExodus 4: Grow

If I could grow a flower garden, I'd be sure to plant enough seeds to ensure a daily bouquet of patience, acceptance, optimism, happiness, curiosity, compassion, understanding, generosity, hope, and perseverance to carry out into the world with me.

What would you grow in your garden?

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

#BlogExodus 3: Purity

I have to be honest here: Initially, “purity” didn’t strike me as a particularly Jewish concept.

And, I’m not quite sure what, exactly, it has to do with Passover.
Nonetheless, our daily liturgy includes this prayer about the return of our souls to us each and every day:

Elohai, n’shmah shenatata bi

t’horah hi. Atah b’ratah, atah y’tzartah,

atah n’fachtah bi,

v’atah m’shamrah b’kirbi.

Kol z’man shehan’shamah b’kirbi,

modeh/modah ani l’fanecha,

Adonai Elohai v’Elohei avotai v’imotai,

Ribon kol hamaasim,

Adon kol han’shamot.

Baruch atah, Adonai,

asher b’yado nefesh kol chai

v’ruach kol b’sar ish.

The soul that You have given me, O God, is pure!

You created and formed it, breathed it into me,

and within me You sustain it.

So long as I have breath, therefore,

I will give thanks to You,

my God and the God of all ages,

Source of all being, loving Guide of every human spirit.

Baruch atah, Adonai, asher b’yado nefesh kol chai v’ruach kol b’sar ish.

Then I remembered this blog post and what my Aunt Claire said in it about our Tante Mina:

Tante Mina was a cousin. I don't know how she was related. She was a very short lady and we always used to measure our height against hers. At a very young age we found ourselves taller than her. To know her was to love her because she was so sweet and kind. She was widowed at an early age. I never knew her husband. She was rather poor, and as she got older she arranged to go to a Jewish home for the aged. She was very happy there; she loved the arts and crafts classes and also volunteered to feed those people in the home who were unable to feed themselves. She was a “gutte neshumah,” a good soul. We try to remember her because there is no one else to do so.

Although I haven’t quite connected the dots about purity and Passover, I do understand that to be a gutte neshumah is a worthy – and challenging – goal, and now, the beginning of this last new year of 5775, is a fine time to start striving to achieve it.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

#BlogExodus 2: Honor

Studying at a long-ago UAHC Kallah at Brandeis University 

One of the selections preceding the Mourner’s Kaddish in the Reform Movement’s prayer book says, in part, this:

We do best homage to our dead when we live our lives more fully,
even in the shadow of our loss.
For each of our lives is worth the life of the whole world;
in each one is the breath of the Ultimate One.
In affirming the One, we affirm the worth of each one
whose life, now ended, brought us closer to the Source of life,
in whose unity no one is alone and every life finds purpose

Whether I have lived it more fully or not, I definitely have lived each of the last nearly six years in the shadow of the loss of my mother. I best honor her memory (and feel closest to her) when I:

1. Work to raise awareness about BRCA mutations and hereditary cancer.
2. Study Torah, especially Lech L’cha (her favorite) and Pinchas, which includes the story of the daughters of Zelophehad.
3. Speak my mind, which I don’t do often enough, but I’m getting better…
4. Vote.
5. Use the library.
6. Nix a Marriott for a different hotel chain.
7. Drink Dunkin’s coconut iced coffee (with a French cruller on the side, annually on Bastille Day, July 14).
8. Root for the Yankees, even though I don’t follow baseball.
9. Assuage irritability with a hefty “Feh,” or “A pox on her house!”
10. Encourage friends to “Go with the right foot” to interviews, new jobs, and adventures of all kinds
11. Gaze out on the Statue of Liberty and remember how lucky she and the rest of us are that her parents and my other grandfather, too, had the foresight, vision, courage, and moxie to leave eastern Europe in a timely way for the goldene medina.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's  #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.

#BlogExodus 1: Start

This morning during minyan, we added Hallel to our worship to mark the new month of Nisan and, according to "the Rabbis," the third of the four Jewish New Years. (Rosh HaShana, Tu B'shvat, and Elul, the beginning of the fiscal year, are the others.)

A new, fresh start?

Perhaps, but it doesn't feel that way to me.

The calendar may say spring, but the thermometer doesn't. It's 40-some degrees today in New York City, and a cold, damp rain is falling.

It is as though the winter rut goes on and on, and I am a cog in the work-a-day world. I go to work, I come home, I go to work, I come home. Every day is nearly the same as the one that came before and the one that will follow.

With few exceptions, I feel bereft of intellectual stimulation, creative banter, and the collegiality that fosters sharing, engagement, and collaboration. Concurrently and collectively, the daily annoyances of life - the stop-in-their-track texters, the dig-into-my-head headphones necessary for nearly every meeting, and, perhaps most of all, the cadre of incompetent nimrods that has mishandled nearly every one of my health insurance claims since January - are just about enough to push me over the edge.

It's a good thing today's "Brother, Give Us A Word" from the Society of Saint John the Evangelist is "blessing," about which Br. Jim Woodrum writes this: "What you're searching for, you already know. God has blessed us with this amazing life, with eyes to see, ears to hear, a mind to discern, and a heart with which to perceive the living presence of God in our midst."

That ought to be enough to start to turn my thinking around….

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Jewish month of Nisan leading up to Passover, which begins at sundown on Friday, April 22, corresponding to 15 Nisan. If you want to play along, check out this year's #BlogExodus and #ExodusGram prompts. Once again, this series of posts also is priming my heart, mind, and spirit to participate in Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, a six-day summer writing seminar that is an initiative of the Kenyon Institute at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH.