Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Graduates

Yesterday, yet again, I posted a personal ad on Craigslist. Entitled “Ode to a Mensch,” it reads as follows:

So here you are,
You’re browsing the ads,
You want something lasting,
Not just a fad.

You are kind and gentle, Jewish and more,
At least 40-something and not a big bore.
You're seeking a woman, a smart one to boot,
To find her on Craigslist, wouldn't that be a hoot?

You’re honest and smart,
A really nice catch,
You love dogs and kids,
Perhaps you’re my match?

I live on the east side, my world is alive,
I’m sweet and I’m funny, my age: 45.
I read lots of books, just a little TV,
Love hanging with others,
Perhaps you and me?

If this little ditty has caught your eye,
Drop me a line and tell me why.
Tell me, too, what makes you tick,
We can chat by phone or meet for a drink,
If all goes well, maybe a flick?

I hope that you'll write,
And answer this post.
For it is from you,
That I wish to hear most!
Although 13 guys responded to the post, sadly, with one possible exception, none meets my personal criteria of “mensch.” Two, in fact, by virtue of their rapid “reverse aging,” fall squarely into the category of "schmuck.”

Guy #1 and I corresponded a bit back in July. At that time, he was 50. Today, a mere two months later, he’s in his 40s. Amazing…

Guy #2 and I also corresponded previously during the summer. In June, he was 54; today he’s 50. Incredible...

At the rate they're going, they'll "catch up" to me by the end of the year, but soon enough they'll be Benjamin Braddock.

Me...Mrs. Robinson? No thanks, I’ll just keep looking for my mensch.