#BlogElul 2: Act

My dad is forever telling me that I expect too much from people -- especially when it comes to the ways they act.  

Although I can't control others' actions, I can try to control my reactions to them.

My challenge is not to react with anger or frustration -- which has neither an outlet nor a benefit -- when the acts of others fail to meet my expectations. These acts, in particular, seem to rile me up the most, and, when I see them, take the most effort for me to remain calm:

1. Sitting on the steps in Penn Station, obstructing the banister for those who need it to walk down the stairs.
2. Talking loudly on the phone in public places.
3. Texting and walking, especially in narrow spaces where other pedestrians cannot pass.
4. Standing directly in front of the Select Bus ticket machines, blocking others who want to buy tickets, especially when a bus is approaching. 
5. Failing to give up their seat for someone holding a child, a folded stroller, or a cane.
6. Failing to hold the elevator for a neighbor a mere three paces behind.
7. Failing to recognize how loud and disruptive giggling and incessant chatter can be when nearby colleagues are trying to work.
8. Failing to greet the doorman or thank him for opening and holding the door. 
9. Placing a backpack, purse or packages on an empty seat on a crowded train. 
10. Standing in the doorway of a subway car when others are trying to enter or exit. (Get out and then back in, or move elsewhere in the car. Everyone will thank you.) 
11. Littering, especially cigarette butts.
12. Manspreading.
13. Conducting a group conversation in the middle of the sidewalk, especially at rush hour.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima,this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

#BlogElul 1: Prepare

Image: engageselling.com

I am from the list makers -- sometimes Buzzfeed-esque, sometimes not.

From the checkers, the double checkers, the triple checkers, the trackers, the reservation makers, the lovers of confirmation emails.

I am from the wait-in-the-lobby travelers, so the Carmel limo driver doesn't have to call upstairs, from the leave-the-house-a-few-minutes-early cohort, just in case the bus is running late.

This is no trip to Columbus, though. No long weekend down the shore.

How do we prepare for a journey of the soul? The annual pilgrimage of our deepest selves in search of our better selves?

What lists should we make? What items do we need to check off?

Is it a list of things we wish to be?  The things we've accomplished since last Elul? Those we've avoided?

The ones we've hoped for and dreamed about? Those that happened? Maybe those that didn't -- the ones that get copied onto a new list -- again -- for the coming year.

Maybe it's the marks we missed?  Or the bull's eyes we hit? Or all the places in between?

The ideas we've embraced? The ideals we've embodied? Those we've rejected outright? Or those we've tweaked to make our own?

Will there be a confirmation email in our in-box once all the lists are made?  When all the right items have been checked off?

Done?

Finished?

Completed?

If not wholly prepared, than at least thought about? Considered? On the radar? In the ballpark?

Are we ever ready?  Really ready?

I don't know...it's a good thing we have 40 days to figure it out.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima,this #BlogElul post is the first in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Why Jews Should Care About the National Cathedral’s Stained Glass Windows

Last month I spent six wonderful days at Kenyon College in Gambier, OH, where I participated in the Kenyon Institute's Beyond Walls writing seminar, the inaugural session of an interfaith initiative for clergy, seminarians, and people who write in religious organizations.

Thanks to terrific faculty, a supportive community of similarly minded writers, Wiggin Street Coffee, and -- perhaps most important -- daily solo writing time, I have this op-ed to show for my efforts.

Charleston’s historic “Mother Emanuel” A.M.E. Church was their sanctuary. Midweek they studied bible under its roof; on Sundays they prayed from its pews. Their spiritual lives were centered there. Their racially motivated murders sparked the current debate over the Confederate flag – the same flag their     murderer, Dylann Roof, holds in a photo on his website.

Last Tuesday marked the fourth anniversary of my prophylactic bilateral mastectomy (PBM) and reconstruction.  It was surgery that I believe saved my life.  FORCE: Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered has been equally life-saving in my BRCA journey.  If you're the least bit inclined to support this incredible organization during its annual fundraising campaign, I'd be grateful. The letter below provides addition information about this year's campaign and my ongoing involvement with the organization.  

July 21, 2015

Dear Friends and Family,

Thank you for visiting my FORCE fundraising page!  

Four years ago today, I underwent life-saving, life-changing, and life-affirming surgery that kept me in the hospital for five nights, including one in intensive care, and then at home recovering for more than eight weeks.  As tough as it was, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

ICYMI: Tribute to Theodore Bikel

Photo: jewishjournal.com

Hop over to ReformJudaism.org to read my latest blog post, a tribute to Theodore Bikel, the prolific actor, musician, and nurturer of souls.  I will miss him, but am grateful for the memories of family and music he's left me.

Seven Things to Love About Kenyon College

1. The Kenyon Writing Institute
2. Wiggin Street Coffee 
3. Solo writing time
4. Schmooze time with leaders from many faith traditions
5. A new list of writers and poets to explore
6. Last night's spontaneous kumzitz at the Hillel House
7. There's still a day-and-a-half of wonderfulness left in this adventure!

Happy Fourth, The Mums

Dear The Mums,

It's the Fourth of July and, as always, with the Macy's fireworks booming and sparkling right outside my window, I am reminded of how much you loved that annual show in the sky.