Shabbat Kedoshim: A Top 10 List

Photo:  www.judaicaneedlepoint.com

10.  Waiting for a bus for almost 20 minutes and still making it to services before Ma Tovu.

9.  Worshiping with my minyan community (including Dr. Tamara Eshkenazi, who is visiting on the east coast) -- despite the exceedingly noisy and wall-shaking construction in the street in front of Temple Shaaray Tefila.

8.  Singing Psalm 150 using Leonard Cohen's haunting melody.

7.  Hearing the Haftarah chanted and reading it round-robin style--as is our minhag--in English.

6.  An especially chewy cinnamon-raisin bagel during Torah study.

5.  Interesting, engaging discussion about talebearers, lashon hara employment references and sins of omission vs. sins of commission.

4.  A refreshing Dunkin' coconut iced coffee on the way home--with lots of ice and just the right amount of milk.

3.  Time to read today's newspaper leisurely.

2.  Time to continue to plow through Les Miserables and find out more about Fantine, Cosette and Monsieur Madeleine, who I think is a.k.a. Jean Valjean, but being only 175 pages into the tale, I'm not quite sure yet.  No spoilers, please...

1.  Time, inspiration and inclination to write and post this list before a little Shabbat menucha (Sabbath rest)!

Shabbat shalom!

No April 2 Redux

Dear The Mums,

Today is April 2.  Three years ago it was a Friday.  We were three days into counting the omer and Barbara Kline Shapiro's father had just died. His funeral was that morning and Daddy went, which meant that I was at the hospital by myself when Dr. S. told me, using his less-than-perfect bedside manner, that the metastatic breast cancer that had resulted in a pelvic fracture that was causing you such excruciating pain was all over your body--in your bones, in your liver and in your lungs.  Of course you were there, too, but the Fentanyl made you loopy and you sort of drifted in and out.  Lucky for me, Elliott and Shira showed up sometime during that morning and then I wasn't alone anymore.

Interestingly, on this year's April 2, I attended the first-ever benefit screening of "Decoding Annie Parker," a not-yet-released feature film about the discovery of the BRCA1 gene. Lucky for me, it was right here in New York at the Directors Guild Theater on the west side. Additional screenings -- sponsored by the The Basser Research Center for BRCA -- are scheduled for this fall in other cities, including Los Angeles on September 17 and Philadelphia on October 2.

The film traces the life of Annie Parker, who lost her mother and her sister to breast cancer before she herself battled both breast and ovarian cancer.  Even as Annie fought these diseases, convinced there was a genetic link within her family,  Dr. Mary-Claire King and her research team were working feverishly to connect the dots within families like Annie's, where breast cancer is present in more than one generation. Of course, in the end, they did just that and, with their discovery of the BRCA1 gene, made one of the most significant cancer breakthroughs of our time.

For many of us in the audience tonight, Annie Parker's story is our story.  It's my story and, although you didn't ever know it, it's your story, too. I'm indebted to Annie Parker for allowing it to be told and to Steve Bernstein, the producer, for telling it so well.  I am hopeful, too, that if enough people see Annie's story and the Basser Center is successful in its work, fewer families ever will have to endure an April 2 like the one we endured just a few short years ago.

Miss you....xoxo,
~ Boo!

#BlogExodus: Changing

It's relatively easy to change this:

Into this:

It's much harder to change attitudes, jobs and long-time ways of doing things, especially if that change takes us out of our comfort zone.

It was that way for the Israelites--and it's still that way for us.

For even as they fled slavery in Egypt and wandered in the desert for 40 years (kvetching all the while), they were becoming a people--a strong people that endures today.

It's a good lesson to keep in mind:  change is hard, and often makes us uncomfortable.  At the same time, it can make us stronger, better people.

So, even if we want to kvetch about it, this is a good season to step gently out of our comfort zone into a new attitude, a new job or a new way of doing things.

Who knows...making a change could land you (or me) smack in the middle of our own personal Promised Land!

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Nisan leading up to Passover 5773.

#BlogExodus: Redeeming

Dear The Mums,

In just a few days, it'll be the season of our redemption and so it's time for my springtime note to bring you up to speed.  I know you probably already know a lot of what I'm about to tell you, but just in case you don't, I'll do my best to fill you in.  As an aside, although the calendar says it's spring, the meteorologists are saying otherwise.  In fact, it's supposed to snow on Monday, making a further mess of what will already be messy "Yid-lock" as people try to make it to their seders on time.  Do you think you can do something about that?!

But I digress....here's the update:

At the end of February, Aunt Claire moved out to an Erickson community in Novi, MI, so she can be close to Marc, Susan and the kids, who moved to Perrysburg, OH, during the fall so Marc could take a new job. Daddy and I are planning to go out there in November for Carolyn's bat mitzvah, but that still makes this the first Passover in a long, long time that doesn't include Aunt Claire at our seder table.

And, in fact, we're not actually having a seder.  You know that Passover has never been Daddy's or Amy's thing and with Ian in Florida at a spring break baseball camp with John, our "seder" on Monday night will look more like a family dinner at Amy's house.  She invited her friend Christine, and Aunt Bea and Barbara also might come--if Blossom and Ed don't go to Aunt Bea's.  Even though it's not going to be a full-blown seder, Amy asked me to bring charoset, so I'll spend part of tomorrow chopping apples and nuts, and putting it all together. I hope she'll do yellow tulips on the table, but I'll probably bring a bunch with me, just to be sure.

Tuesday night, however, I'll be at a full-blown seder, as I always am on the second night of Passover.  This year especially, I am grateful for the opportunity to perform all the rituals--dinner in the RA Haggadah doesn't happen until somewhere around page 88, I think--and for the friends and laughter that will abound that night.  

I'm not quite sure how things work where you are, but I do hope that you've run into Mrs. Steinberg and that the two of you have been busy catching up with each other and shmying around in Pier 1, HomeGoods and at flea markets.  Please keep your eye out, too, for a young woman whom I think you'll really like.  Although Elissa Froman and I never met in person, we had a few email exchanges and a number of mutual friends, which actually wasn't hard since it seems that so many people were friends with Elissa.  She was a RAC LA before going to work for the National Council of Jewish Women, where she was a deeply dedicated advocate for social and economic justice, managing a portfolio that included civil rights, religion/state separation, international issues and judicial nominations. She had plans to go to rabbinical school and had been accepted at HUC, but after years of fighting Hodgkin's lymphoma, she died yesterday at 29.  Today Facebook is overflowing with countless pictures of Elissa with her friends, as well as loving sentiments written by those same broken-hearted people.  I've included a picture of her here so you'll know her if you see her. My hunch is that you and she will hit it off. 

There's lots more to tell, but it's late and so the rest will have to wait for another letter.  In the meantime though, although Passover will never be an easy holiday for any of us, I hope you know that these notes to you help, in some small way, to redeem my heart from the grip of sadness that comes from missing you.

Chag Pesach sameach, The Mums...xoxo,

~ Boo!

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Nisan leading up to Passover 5773.

#BlogExodus: Counting

Earlier this week, when the total reached 50, I stopped counting the days of my Jubilee year.

In another few days, I'll stop counting the days of #BlogExodus and #Exodusgram.

Just as they end, though, we'll begin counting the omer.

Hmm...is that a purple tinge on my skin?!

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Nisan leading up to Passover 5773.

#BlogExodus: Leaving

Images from a New York City Day

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Nisan leading up to Passover 5773.

#BlogExodus: Asking

Outside the McDonald's on 39th Street and Second Avenue this morning a homeless man repeatedly was asking various people going in if they'd buy him a cup of coffee.  I muttered, "Sorry, no," and made my way inside to the end of the line.

I've been stopping at this location on many mornings recently and yes, it's because a decent cup of coffee can be had for $1.09. From one day to the next, I see some of the same faces--the elderly man reading The Times with a hand-held magnifier, the two FedEx delivery guys, and of course the employees, some behind the counter, others wiping tables and restocking the napkin and straw dispensers.Often, the line is three or four deep and it seems that like me, everyone's looking for a bargain.

The dichotomy between this scene and Starbucks (where I generally go only when someone's given me a gift card) highlights the truism that New York City is losing its middle class and that if current economic trends continue, most residents either will be very rich or very poor.

I'm sure that Paul Krugman would have something profound and meaningful to say here, but from my perspective--and despite a full semester of graduate-level economics--it's just incredibly sad that in one of the greatest cities in the world, the American dream seems to be getting further and further out of reach and all but the city's wealthiest residents are finding it harder and harder to make ends meet.

What will it take to create living-wage jobs for more New Yorkers?

What will it take to ensure that fixed-income New Yorkers don't have to choose between heat and medication?  Between food and medical care?

What will it take to balance out the increasing disparity between this city's haves and have-nots, and help promote some semblance of economic justice for all?

What will it take for all of us collectively to realize truly meaningful and long-lasting social and economic change...or are these things beyond our grasp?

By the time I headed for the door, coffee in hand, the homeless man was seated at a table.  On my way out, I handed him a dollar bill and a dime, and told him to enjoy the coffee.  Unfortunately, my action doesn't begin to answer these four questions, which increasingly are on my mind.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Nisan leading up to Passover 5773.