Sunday, May 27, 2012

Fashion Facts from a Non-Fashionista


Dear Fashion Industry,

We’ve never had a great relationship and with each passing year, I find I like you less and less.  This afternoon, against my better judgment, I spent time with you in the hopes that I won’t have to continue to fight with the contents of my closet each morning as I prepare to go to work.  However, that plan didn’t exactly pan out as I expected.

Based on today’s experience, let me tell you a few things that you don’t seem to understand:

  1. Some people don’t like to shop and don’t have unlimited funds to spend on clothing,
  2. Not everyone has the body of a tween or teen, most of whom want and can afford to wear everything skin tight.  Some of us need a little wiggle room in our clothing.  That means that we’d like the waistband of our pants to sit on our waists.  (That’s why it's called a waistband.)  Can you make some pants like that?  Please?
  3. It doesn’t mean, however, that a size large needs to have sleeves that are six times longer than the sleeves on a medium or that shirts need to come down to our knees.  A little extra room in the shoulders and the overall width would be very helpful.  Do you think you could do that?
  4. Not everyone looks good in crew neck tee-shirts (even if they come in 37 different colors).  Can you possibly make some square neck and/or v-neck tee-shirts, too?
  5. Some people like relatively plain clothing.  Do you think you could make some shirts without sequins, ruffles and embroidery?  Pants without sequins, studs and zippers at the ankle?  And purses without fringe, studs and metal rings all over?  Lots of people would thank you for that.
  6. Polyester, rayon and nylon do not breathe.  Therefore, they’re not especially good fabrics for summer clothing.  Cotton is really good for summer fashions, but it needs to be weighty enough so that the clothing—especially the white pieces—aren’t sheer.
  7. If you’d be so kind as to add a dash of polyester to the cotton, the clothing can go into the dryer without shrinking.
  8. Some of us would appreciate summer dresses with short sleeves.  Sometimes the office is just too chilly for sleeveless and, believe it or not, most 40-somethings I know don’t wear dresses with spaghetti straps. I know, you’re incredulous, but believe me, it’s true.
  9. The average American woman wears a size 14.  Therefore, you probably should make that the middle of the bell curve.  Maybe then size 14 garments  wouldn’t sell out so quickly leaving lots of teeny tiny sizes on the racks at sale time, which is extremely frustrating for all of us average size women.
  10. One final thing, Fashion Industry:  Can you do something about the music?  I’m not saying that you need to play easy listening tunes or Muzak, but I don't need to hear it from the street as I approach the store, and something with a little more melody and a little less beat at a significantly lower volume would be great.
No, I’m not ready to throw in the towel and head to the Alfred Dunner racks, but a little cooperation from you, Fashion Industry, would be very much appreciated.  Thanks for your consideration.

~ JanetheWriter