Monday, August 19, 2013

Forgiveness Begins At Home: A #BlogElul Post

Several years ago, I had a falling out with a friend. During Elul that year, she wrote to ask my forgiveness. Although I suppose I forgave her, I never answered her note.

As I pondered what to do, I realized that I didn't miss her presence in my life, nor did I experience any emptiness, remorse or sadness where I thought a friendship once had lived.  Instead, I was overcome by the lightness of freedom - a haggadah's worth of freedom.  Suddenly, I was free to spend time with other friends, free to enjoy my own space and time in solitude, free from accounting to her for my whereabouts.

With all that freedom, I realized, too, that true friends don't entrap friends, and that as much as she may have needed my forgiveness, so, too, did I need to forgive myself for becoming entangled with someone who wasn't the right friend for me. 

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima,this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.