Saturday, October 18, 2008

Drinks in the Sukkah?

A short article in today’s New York Times about the Chabad sukkah in Bryant Park confirmed that many New Yorkers, myself included, lack the outdoor space necessary for a sukkah.

It was this idea, in fact, that prompted me to post the following ad on Craigslist:

Drinks in the Sukkah? (Midtown East)

Reply to: mailto:pers-879543629@craigslist.org?subject=Drinks%20in%20the%20Sukkah%3f%20(Midtown%20East)
Date: 2008-10-14, 8:35PM EDT

It’s Sukkot, the weather’s still nice…how about drinks in the sukkah? Oh, but wait, this is Manhattan and unlike the Orthodox over in Brooklyn, I don’t have a sukkah. No matter…drinks alfresco will be just fine.

Forty-something happily DJF with no kids, manageable baggage and lots to offer the right guy is looking for a spark that might ignite into a meaningful long-term relationship with a contentedly divorced (or equally seasoned) Jewish male (45-52).

Drop me a line and perhaps we can find an outdoor garden or patio to double as a sukkah for a get-to-know-you drink or two.
In response to what I considered a creative and timely post, I received seven less-than-stellar replies:

Guy #1 wrote, and I quote, “now manhattan”

Guy #2 asked, “Do you have a picture?”

Guy #3 described his 2500 square foot roof including the view, the Pino Grigio in the wine cooler and the “incredible” spa/hot tub. Sadly, he didn’t say a word about himself.

Guy #4, thankfully, did tell me a bit about himself. However, he did so using the exact same canned response he’d sent to me on 17 previous occasions. One of the earlier ones did, in fact, evolve into a brief email exchange, but it ended when he wrote, “I will call you at the number in your last email.” Guess what didn’t happen?

Guy #5 wrote, “Hi, sorry, I'm married, but what the heck.”

Guy #6 described himself as a modern Orthodox/conservadox Long Islander, and although he may be a perfectly nice guy, my instincts tell me that he’s not the right one for me.

Guy #7, a 34-year-old lawyer, wrote that he’s sure that we’d get along well and that I should “ignore the barriers.”

If it feels as though you’ve read this post before, it’s not déjà vu…just an earlier post about incredibly similar replies to a different Craigslist ad.

In light of all of these, I think I’ll skip posting another ad for Simchat Torah. Maybe for Hanukkah…