Wednesday, October 29, 2008

We're Sorry, Your Date Has Been Canceled

When I started this blog nearly two months ago, I promised myself that unlike the proprietor of the Dating at Forty blog, I would write about more than my dating escapades and various marches in the “Schmuck Parade.” And, in fact, I think that I’ve done a fairly decent job of maintaining a balance among serious, frivolous and dating posts. In part, that’s because in reality, I go on far fewer dates than the number that actually get scheduled.

A few cases in point:

Back in May, I answered Guy #1’s ad on Craigslist. The subject line was: “Why isn’t the day after Tu Bishvat Three Bishvat?” We had a pleasant enough email exchange that went on for about a week and ended with arrangements to meet at a local wine bar. The day before, I received the following email from him: ” I need to reschedule tomorrow. A client needs a meeting and tomorrow night makes the most sense. Sorry. Raincheck?” I responded thusly, “Sure, a raincheck is no problem. Just let me know when you want to reschedule.” Maybe he’s waiting for 2015?

Last month Guy #2 answered my ad on Craigslist and, as with Guy #1, we had a very nice email exchange over the course of several days. He invited me out for dinner and we agreed to meet one night the week before Rosh Hashana. That morning, he emailed me and said, “ I just got to work and found out the guy I work with had an emergency appendectomy last night. I'm going to be stuck here late this week as I'm taking off from Friday to head to Florida to see my mom and spend the Jewish holidays with her. I'll contact you when I get back. Happy New Year.” Kudos to Guy #2 for making the Big Schlep to Florida for the high holidays. Do you think that now that Simchat Torah is over and we’re about to enter Cheshvan I’ll hear from him? Me either…

One more. At the beginning of this month, I answered a Craigslist ad of Guy #3, a “DJM looking for the long term.” After a lively email exchange (where have I heard this before?!) and a few brief phone conversations, during which he sounded like a good guy, we made plans to meet for dinner last Friday. That morning, Guy #3 called to say that he wasn’t feeling well and as much as he was looking forward to dinner that evening, he would need to postpone. He definitely wanted to reschedule for one night next week, though. No problem, I told him. Feel better, I said, and give me a call when you do. It’s now the middle of “next week” and guess what? Right…nothing from Guy #3.

So, is it that these guys have the attention span of a gnat and can’t remember to follow-up? Or, is it that they have such endless choices when it comes to women that some just inevitably fall by the wayside? Or, as I’ve been arguing all along, is it that they really are schmucks and this is how they deal with the world? I can’t decide…can you?


  1. The amazing thing to me about this story is that they called to cancel, rather than just standing you up!

  2. I think Larry is totally right - at least they did you the favor of letting you know it wasn't going to happen. I guess their calendar works, they just haven't figured out how to set reminders for future follow-up...weird.