#BlogExodus: Chametz

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Today's #BlogExodus topic reminded me of the list of breads for various sins that often makes the rounds just before the High Holy Days.  Originally compiled by Rabbi Richard Israel, z.l., it goes something like this:

Taking a few crumbs to Tashlich from whatever old bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance and religious sensitivity. I would suggest that we can do better. Instead:

For ordinary sins, use - White Bread

For exotic sins - French Bread

For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel

For complex sins - Multi-grain

For twisted sins - Pretzels

For tasteless sins - Rice Cakes

For sins of indecision - Waffles

For sins committed in haste - Matzah

For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes - Shmurah Matzah

For sins of chutzpah - Fresh Bread

For substance abuse/marijuana - Stoned Wheat

For substance abuse/heavy drugs - Poppy Seed

For arson - Toast

For timidity - Milk Toast

For high-handedness - Napoleons

For being sulky - Sourdough

For silliness - Nut Bread

For not giving full value - Short bread

For jingoism - Yankee Doodles

For telling bad jokes - Corn Bread

For being money-hungry - Enriched Bread or Raw Dough

For telling small lies - Fudge

For war-mongering - Kaiser Rolls

For promiscuity - Hot Buns

For racism - Crackers

For sophisticated racism - Ritz Crackers

For being holier-than-thou - Bagels

For unfairly up-braiding others - Challah

For provocative dressing - Wonton Wrappers

For snobbery - Upper Crusts

For indecent photography - Cheese Cake

For trashing the environment - Dumplings

For the sin of laziness - Any Very Long Loaf

For being hyper-critical - Pan Cakes

For political skullduggery - Bismarcks

For over-eating - Stuffing Bread or Bulkie Rolls

For gambling - Fortune Cookies

For pride - Puff Pastry

For cheating - Bread made with Nutrasweet and Olestra

For being snappish - Ginger Bread

For dropping in without calling beforehand - Popovers

For trying to improve everyone within sight -Angel Food Cake

For being up-tight and irritable - High Fiber or Bran Muffins

For sycophancy - Brownies

For rearing children incompetently - Raisin Bread

For immodest behavior - Tarts

For causing injury or damage to others - Tortes

For hardening our hearts - Jelly doughnuts

For abrasiveness - Grits

For recurring slip ups - Banana Bread

For davening off tune - Flat Bread

For impetuosity - Quick Bread

For silliness - Nut Bread

For risking one's life unnecessarily - Hero Bread

For auto theft - Caraway

For excessive use of irony - Rye Bread

For larceny (especially of copyright material) - Stollen

In taking a read down the list, it occurred to me that since we're just about at the mid-point of 5773, it might be a good time to think about last year's missteps--the breadcrumbs we tossed away on the afternoon of Rosh Hashana--and take a quick inventory of how we're doing so far this year.  

If we're lucky, we'll find just a few crumbs in our "sinventory"...and in our cabinets, cars, and couches!

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Nisan leading up to Passover 5773.