Wednesday, September 24, 2014

#BlogElul: Return

While we humans are busy at this season, turning and returning -- to the selves we once were, to the selves we want to be -- the world carries on, spinning forward with its burdens...its wars, its famines, its diseases, and its other hardships in tow.

And so, too, do we.

We do not do this work in a vacuum.

Even as we hope and pray and promise and strive to be the best that we can, we do so amidst the burdens the world shares with us -- amidst hunger, cancer, unemployment, poverty, shame, drug addiction, child abuse, violence, family estrangement, alcoholism, financial hardship...the list goes on and on.

And yet, we continue to turn, year after year, to the place of return within ourselves, working to be the selves we once were, striving to be the better selves we know we can be.  Again and again and again, at this season each year, we turn and we return.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam for encouraging and enabling us to turn and to return, even as the world spins us forever forward on its axis.

May you be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a good and sweet year.  Shana tova u'metuka.  


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is the last in this year's series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Monday, September 22, 2014

#BlogElul: Give

One of the definitions of "give," today's #BlogElul prompt, is a noun that means capacity to bend or alter in shape under pressure; elasticity.

This definition reminds me of a wall hanging in a friend's home that says:  I used to be an oak, but now I am a willow. I can bend.



Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam for giving us give enough to bend like a willow in order to weather life's storms.  

In the new year, may I increasingly recognize and appreciate my own ability to bend. Amen. 


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 





Sunday, September 21, 2014

#BlogElul: Intend

I didn't intend to get so impatient with my Dad....I'm grateful we can do things together.

I didn't intend to get so frustrated with my colleagues...I'm grateful to have a job.

I didn't intend to get so overwhelmed with my overloaded calendar...I'm grateful to have a rich, full life.


In the New Year, I intend to be more patient with my Dad...and to keep doing things together with him.

In the New Year, I intend to speak up...in the workplace and elsewhere.

In the New Year, I intend to schedule time for me, even if it's just to stay home and read...or do nothing at all.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam for giving us a fresh opportunity to be the people we continually intend to be.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Saturday, September 20, 2014

#BlogElul: Hope

Worn down and worried, I nonetheless remain hopeful that 5775 will renew my spirit, my sister's health, and our family's joy in being together.

In the new year, may we once again share laughter, good times, and the safety that comes from unconditional love for each other.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Friday, September 19, 2014

#BlogElul: Begin

Moses Maimonides, the 12th century Jewish scholar and physician had this to say about maintaining physical health:
Since it is God's will that a [person]'s body be kept healthy and strong, because it is impossible for a [person] to have any knowledge of his Creator when ill, it is, therefore, his duty to shun anything which may waste his body, and to strive to acquire habits that will help him to preserve his health.
Heeding Maimonides' advice, back in July two Weight Watchers friends and I began meeting up in the exercise room in our building's basement at 6 a.m. three mornings a week to walk (and talk) on the treadmill for 30 minutes.

Although this practice hasn't necessarily increased my weight loss, it has helped my body begin to convert fat to muscle, resulting in a more shapely shape (I don't think I'll ever qualify as svelte).  It also has enhanced my overall energy level, mood, and outlook.

This morning, the three of us got to talking about target heart rate and so after my cool-down, I entered my age and the intensity of the workout (percentage of the maximum heart rate) I want to achieve before letting the treadmill calculate my target heart rate.

Armed with this information, on Monday morning, I will, indeed, "Press go to Begin," walking my way to a target rate of 152 beats per minute, as well as to a healthy and strong body for the new year and beyond.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Thursday, September 18, 2014

#BlogElul: An End-of-Day Haiku

Crazy, busy life.
Too much to do in each day.
Need a bedtime Sh'ma.

Lailah tov.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

#BlogElul: Looking for Love

As someone who has yet to stumble upon my bashert, I'm always interested to learn how individuals who are one half of a loving couple met originally. Answers often include:  in college, online, at a bar, at a singles' event, sitting next to each other on a plane or train, or fixed up by a mutual friend.

Funny, nobody ever says, "I met my bashert on Craigslist."

That idea got me to thinking...

Cue the dreamy, I'm-leaving-reality music...
 
Dear Craigslist,

I know that in addition to making matches between buyers and sellers of furniture, apartments, cars and jobs, among other things, you’ve also got quite a reputation as a forum for people in search of casual sex, friends with benefits and no-strings attached relationships, none of which is of interest to me. However, tired of waiting around for someone to fix me up, and frustrated with Jdate, match.com, eharmony and other more traditional online and offline venues for finding someone for a date (and maybe, just maybe, a great relationship over time), I’m turning to you in the hopes that you might be able to help me out here.   
  1. I’m 51, so when I say “fifty-something” or “age appropriate,” I don’t mean 28 and I don’t mean 63. Fifty to 57 would be great.
  2. I’m Jewish and although not religious in the traditional sense, it is an important part of my life in a liberal sort of way. Therefore, Jewish guys who still retain some attachment (even if it’s mostly cultural) to their heritage are most desirable.
  3. Although I’m not looking to get married again (at least not at the moment), I also am not interested in meeting guys who already are married or are not quite divorced. It would be great if you could limit your selections for me to guys who are fully divorced, widowed or single, in that order.
  4. I don’t have a specific “type” in mind when it comes to guys and I don’t much care about hair color, eye color or that sort of thing. At the same time, at 5’5”, I do appreciate guys who are at least 5’7” or 5'8". Please feel free to let your pool of candidates know that I’m height and weight proportionate (and stay that way with the help of the treadmill nearly every other day). I’ve got long, curly auburn hair, brown eyes and a great smile. I will be happy to send a recent picture (in which I am wearing neither baseball cap nor sunglasses) to serious suitors once we’ve exchanged a few emails and I expect that they’ll do the same.
  5. Much more important to me than looks, though, is that you do your best to send me a mensch. Of course I don’t expect perfection (I’m old enough and seasoned enough to know that it only exists in fairy tales and the movies), but I would love to spend time getting to know someone who is honest, gentle and kind, seriously interested in finding the right somebody and not into playing games. I don’t really care about how much money he makes, whether or not he travels annually to the Caribbean or how many electronic gadgets he owns. Speaking of electronic gadgets, though, if we do decide to meet and chat over coffee or a drink (my preference for a first get-together), it’d be nice if he’d turn off his phone and wait until later to check his messages and emails.
  6. I live and work in Manhattan and would like to meet a “local” guy. I’m also am open to guys who live in the other four boroughs, as well as close by in Westchester and New Jersey. However, Florida, Maine, and upstate New York are a bit out of the question. Some consideration of geographic boundaries would be greatly appreciated.
  7. I know that these are tough economic times, but gainful, satisfying employment is a big plus as are solo living quarters unless, of course, the guy shares space with his kids – either full-time or part-time. (Although I don’t have any of my own and am way too old to have any in the future--I’m 51, after all—I’m definitely open to having other people’s kids in my life and hope that the guy you send me has a positive, loving relationship with his.) 
  8. Although I don’t expect a response that rivals the Great American Novel, I do appreciate a few thoughtful, carefully written sentences about the guy you’re sending me. I’d love for him to tell me a bit about himself and his life, as well as what positive attributes he’d bring to a meaningful long-term relationship. Most undesirable in the response category are one-liners, canned text, photos with no words (and no shirts), and the totally out-of-context imperative “call me” with a phone number.
  9. I know you won’t necessarily send me a guy who’s a carbon copy of me (that’d be boring), but it would be great if he and I had some shared values. (I know, I know…this is Craigslist. What am I thinking?!) High on my list are smarts, honesty, integrity, intellectual curiosity, kindness, family, friends and other things money can’t buy. Please don't send me guys who lie, steal or cheat.
  10. Lastly, to make this thing really work, I hope you’ll be able to send me someone with whom I have that all elusive chemistry. Ideally, we’ll have an emotional, intellectual and physical spark that together we can coax into a wonderfully warm and glowing relationship that keeps us both from having to be in touch with you again for a long time to come (unless we’ve got an old desk or dining room table to sell!). 
Craigslist, I know that I may be asking for a lot here, but I’m optimistic that with these explicit instructions you may be able to come through for me, helping me bump into my bashert in the new year. Thanks for your careful consideration of my requests. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

~ JanetheWriter

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

#BlogElul: Dare

Frieda Vizel is a daring young woman. Based on press coverage alone, I know that she and her young son left the Hasidic community in which she was born and raised, she started her own company giving tours in Hasidic Williamsburg, completed college, and currently attends graduate school.

Most recently, she was called for an aliyah, and marked the occasion with a shechecheyanu blessing: 
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam,  shehechehyanu, v'kiy'manu, v'higianu laz'man hazeh.
In the new year, may Frieda -- and we -- continue to be daring, pushing the boundaries of our own comfort zones and creating opportunities for shechecheyanu blessings in our lives.
Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Monday, September 15, 2014

#BlogElul: Change

Having passed the half-century mark more than 18 months ago, I am, for the most part, comfortable with who I am, and with the skin I'm in.

Nonetheless, if I had my druthers and could make some changes in my life, I might attempt to be:
  1. Less impatient
  2. More relaxed
  3. More irreverent
  4. Less eager to please
  5. Less of a yekke
  6. More forthright
  7. Less gullible
  8. More outgoing
  9. More inquisitive
  10. More flexible
On the other hand, if I was able to make all these changes successfully, would I still be me in all my quirkiness?  Would I still be comfortable with who I am? Would I still be the one in my skin?


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Sunday, September 14, 2014

#BlogElul: The Jewish Cellist


As regular readers of this blog know, my sister runs her own company, The Art of Perception, providing training to law enforcement and medical personnel, as well as other professionals in various fields to enhance their observation, perception, and communications skills.  She uses various works of art as the "data set," encouraging participants to describe -- objectively, concisely, and clearly -- exactly what it is they see.  

The following anecdote from one of her training session illustrates just how important it is to listen carefully, how dangerous it can be to make assumptions and judgments, and how necessary it is to step back and ask if we are justified in relying on those assumptions -- or if they cause us to misjudge or prejudge. 
  
Upon showing Thomas Eakins' The Cello Player to a roomful of law enforcement agents, the following exchange ensued:
Amy:  "What do you see?"
Participant:  "The man in that picture is Jewish." 
Amy:  "Well, that is a conclusion. What observations did you make to get to that conclusion?" 
Participant:  "That's easy; all musicians are Jewish." 
Amy:  "Well, now you have drawn two conclusions--that the man is a musician and that all musicians are Jewish. Walk me through your thought process." 
The participant proceeded to narrate her thoughts: "During WWII, the Nazis put Jews in concentration camps. In some of the camps, they formed chamber music groups so that when the Red Cross came through, they could see that everything was ok." 
Amy cut her off and said that in the painting, there was a man sitting in a chair playing a cello. Where did she see the Nazis, chamber music groups, or the Red Cross? 
The participant looked at my sister, irritated, and snapped back, "Well, you asked me what I thought of when I looked at the painting." 
To which Amy replied, "With all due respect, I did not.  I asked, 'What do you see, not what do you think.'"
We all have Jewish cellists in our lives. 

How did they get there?

What can we do to get rid of them?


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Saturday, September 13, 2014

#BlogElul: Ask

Last year as part of #BlogElul, I wrote this post about whether or not I ask too much of myself.

More recently, various events in my life have been so stunning and, in some cases, so frustrating that the only question I find myself able to ask, isn't even one suitable for a "family blog."  More and more often, I find myself throwing my hands in the air in disbelief and uttering, "What the #!$%@^$#%?!?"

I'm not particularly proud that this is the question I've been asking (and I certainly don't expect an answer), but sometimes, it's just the most appropriate initial inquiry one can make.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Friday, September 12, 2014

#BlogElul: Pray

You know that old Jewish joke about synagogue services?

You know?... The one where Schwartz says that Goldberg attends synagogue to talk to God, but that Schwartz goes only to talk to Goldberg.

In the world of worship, I'm definitely a Goldberg...and I love when we get to this part of the Shabbat service:
We sit in community:
elbow to elbow, eye to eye.
So close, perhaps, we brush against each other
as we move in prayer.
Ears filled with the voices of friends, teachers, fellow travelers —
who pray with us from the next seat, from across the room.
We come to silence.
Rhythm of words, shared melody, hushed.
Connected first one to one to all,
we now let go.
To be alone
with the Holy One.
To speak in mind, and heart, and soul,
but not with lips.
The prayers we weave together cannot replace
that private conversation:
God, our partner awaits us:
One by one,
a miracle.
Just God and me...and the hopes and dreams, fears and wishes, gratitude and praise that are in my heart.

Just God and me...alone together.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 



Thursday, September 11, 2014

#BlogElul: What Does it Take to Awaken a Soul?

What does it take to awaken a soul?
How loudly must the alarm clock ring to be heard by one's innermost being?

Did I sleep through the alarm during the past year?
Did I hit the snooze button one too many times?

In the new year, how can I be sure to hear the alarm and, knowing what it means, to act accordingly?

What does it take to awaken a soul?

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 



Wednesday, September 10, 2014

#BlogElul: Understanding Isn't All or Nothing

Although there's not much in this video -- beyond shana tova and shana tova u'metuka -- that I understand, this lack of understanding doesn't detract from my ability to enjoy the lighthearted, joyful Rosh HaShanah message.  I take what I can from it, which, in itself, is a meaningful lesson for this season.

It is not possible to understand everything we encounter in our world. Nonetheless, to the extent that we can draw something positive or enjoyable -- no matter how small and no matter what it may be -- from our experiences and encounters, may we strive to do so, and may we help others to do the same.



Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

#BlogElul: Learn

It is late and I'm tired, but here are a few things I learned in 5774:
  1. I enjoy studying Nechama Leibowitz as a text commentator more than I enjoy studying Rashi.  Just as a good sit-com ties up all the loose ends in 26 minutes, so, too, do all the loose ends come together into a nice, neat package in her commentaries.  As for Rashi, too many seemingly irrelevant things bother him...
  2. Posting #tbt photos is a lot of fun!
  3. There's always room for new friends...especially when they feel like longtime friends from the get-go.
  4. Shabbos socks can be quite the social media sensation!  
  5. I love being on the BRCA-awareness soapbox, but there has to be some balance, too, and it can't necessarily be all BRCA all the time.  It's exhausting.
Here are a few things that I haven't quite mastered and on which I'd like to get a better handle in the coming year:
  1. It's not necessary to always put the needs of others ahead of my own.
  2. Meeting my bashert.   
  3. Visiting Chicago.
  4. It's OK to relax and do nothing...and not feel guilty about it.
  5. Flexibility and "going with the flow" are key components in managing life's ups and downs.
Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam for giving us continued opportunities to learn, to grow, and to shape ourselves into better people and our world into a better place.  Amen.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Monday, September 8, 2014

#BlogElul: Remembering

As a wrote for last year's #BlogElul "Remember" prompt, we Jews are a remembering people. Among other events and people, we regularly remember Shabbat, the Exodus, what the Amalekites did to us, the victims of the Holocaust, and Israel's soldiers who died in battle.  

Within our own families, we remember our loved ones each year on their yahrzeits and at this season of return. For me, the "remembering list" includes a number of people I knew personally -- my grandparents, two of my grandmother's sisters, two of my grandfather's brothers, cousins of my parents, family friends and, of course, my mom.  It also includes individuals who, in one way or another, have, more recently, come into my circle of remembering, but whom I did not know personally: Chaim Glasberg, Tante Mina, and saddest of all, a friend's son, Sam.  

In the new year, even as sweet memories help to sustain us following loss -- whether recent or not -- may we, our loved ones, and our friends know no more sorrow.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

#BlogElul: Please Forgive Me

Please forgive me if I wonder how much NBC-Universal's full-page tribute to Joan Rivers cost in today's New York Times.  More to the point, please forgive me if I wonder how many hungry kids that money could feed.

Please forgive me if I don't respond instantaneously to your email or text.  I might be talking (on my landline) to my dad, to my Aunt Claire, or to my sister.

Please forgive me if I screen my calls.  I might be trying to take some much-needed quiet time to read, to inhale and exhale slowly, or just to get off the non-stop merry-go-round for a few minutes.  Leave me a message and I'll do my best to get back to you.

Please forgive me if I can't answer all your questions, and I just send you a link to read instead.

Mazel gov on your wedding, but please forgive me if I wonder what is a Universal Life minister.

Please forgive me if I get mad at you when you wait for a bus for 10 minutes, but only start to look for your MetroCard once you're standing in front of the fare box.

Please forgive me, but if you took your backpack off before you got on the subway train, three more people could get in behind you...and you wouldn't keep bumping into me with every lurch of the train.

Please forgive me if something slips through the cracks. Even though I am a yekke, I'm overloaded at the moment and, despite my best efforts, a few things do slip off my very full plate from time to time.

Please forgive me if I don't participate in Monday morning quarterback conversations at the water cooler.  The first time I heard a sports commentator mention "Gang Green," I wondered how an entire football team could contract such a potentially deadly infection.

Please forgive me if I say "no."  It's not a popular word in my vocabulary, but I think I need to start learning how to use it -- even if it's just once in a while.  I think it might help me uncomplicate my life.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Saturday, September 6, 2014

#BlogElul: I Trust That is Not the Case

Baruch atah, Adonai
Eloheinu, Melech haolam,
asher yatzar et haadam b'chochmah
uvara vo n'kavim, n'kavim,
chalulim, chalulim.
Galui v'yadua lifnei chisei ch'vodecha
she-im yipatei-ach echad meihem,
o yisateim echad meihem,
i efshar l'hitkayeim
v'laamod l'fanecha.
Baruch atah, Adonai,
rofei chol basar umafli laasot.

Praise to you, Adonai,
our God, Sovereign of the universe,
who formed the human body with skill
creating the body's many pathways and openings.
It is well known before Your throne of glory
that if one of them be wrongly opened or closed,
it would be impossible to endure and stand before You.
Blessed are You, Adonai, who heals all flesh, working wondrously.

If we trust God to heal all flesh, working wondrously, is it also true that in order to heal us, God must first make us sick?

I trust that is not the case.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 



#BlogElul: Counting Your True Friends

When I was young, someone told me that you're a lucky person if, by the time you die, you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand.  

You know who are your true friends.  They're the ones you call when you need a ride to the ER in the wee hours, the ones who correctly finish your sentences, the ones who have given you the shirt off their back (sometimes more than once), and the ones who know you better than you know yourself.

As 5775 approaches, may we not only count our own true friends, but may we also know that others are counting on us to be among their true friends.


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 







Thursday, September 4, 2014

#BlogElul: Seeing the Glass as Half Full

Some days life is overwhelming. 

It's been that way this week. 

All the more reason to slow down, take a deep breath, and remember to see the glass as half full.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam for giving us perspective and enabling us to see the goodness all around us.  


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

#BlogElul: Can You Hear Me? We Don't Back Down From Cancer

My sister and I spent a lot of time today listening to medical professionals. 

Here is what we heard:
  1. Amy's small tumor is estrogen-receptor-positive (ER+) and progesterone-receptor positive (PR+), which means that the cells are trying to behave like normal breast tissue cells, but they're not quite hitting the mark. The good news is that this isn't our mother's triple negative breast cancer, and there are very effective chemotherapy drugs to which this type of tumor will respond.  It is totally treatable and curable.
  2. The tumor also is positive for the protein human epidermal growth factor receptor 2 (HER2+), which means it is somewhat more aggressive than other types of breast cancer, but again, there are very effective drugs (Herceptin and Perjeta, among others) to which the tumor will respond.
Based on what we heard and the constraints of the business she runs singlehandedly, this is the strategy she and the doctors have mapped out for the next few months:
  1. She's scheduled to have a lumpectomy (a same-day procedure) on Thursday, September 25, which is the first day of Rosh Hashana, and, I believe, a good omen.  Even as the world is being born, so, too, will she have an opportunity to begin again...healthy, strong, and whole.
  2. In mid to late October, she'll begin chemotherapy, the specific "cocktail" to be determined based on information gleaned from the lumpectomy.  Its frequency likely will be once a week either every other week or every third week, depending on the specific drugs selected for her.  At the same time she'll also be treated with Herceptin or Perjeta.  The chemotherapy will last for about four months, the other drugs for 12 months.  She may lose her hair, but again, that depends on the specific mix of drugs that are selected for her.
  3. Once she's finished with chemotherapy (probably sometime in February), she'll have a window of opportunity of about three weeks to decide about next steps after which she'll either have radiation or a mastectomy.  Not wanting a repeat of the last few weeks, she's leaning toward the latter and I can't say I blame her.  But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
  4. In the meantime, she'll also schedule additional genetic counseling and testing (beyond what she and I both had in 2010) to rule out the possibility that this tumor was caused by hereditary factors.  Based on the information available at this point, neither the surgeon nor the medical oncologist believes that it was, but the testing will confirm their hunch (or not...).
We heard a lot today, and it was exhausting.  However, we're good listeners and we've got a pretty good handle on things.  Most of all, we're strong, we're a family, we're in this together, and we're buckling up for the ride.  

Can you hear me?  We don't back down from cancer.




Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

#BlogElul: We Have Every Reason to Believe...

In the last few weeks, I've written and spoken these words countless times about my sister, who recently was diagnosed with breast cancer:
She's going to see my breast surgeon in two weeks.  In the meantime, we're trying to be strong for each other...and we have every reason to believe that she will be fine.
Ken yehi ratzon.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year. 

Monday, September 1, 2014

#BlogElul: Today I Shall Try to Be...

When my sister and I were growing up, there was an orange sticker on the inside of the front door at 12 Webster Road that said, "Today I shall try to be kind." It was the last thing we saw before we left the house each morning.

As a New Yorker, I've learned that there's a fine line between being kind and letting the world outside your door ride roughshod over you.  Nonetheless, as 5775 approaches, these are the stickers I'd like to see on the inside of my front door before I leave the house each morning:
Today I shall try to be patient.
Today I shall try to be caring.
Today I shall try to be fair.
Today I shall try to be non-judgmental.
Today I shall try to be fun-loving.
Today I shall try to be flexible.
Today I shall try to be reasonable.
Today I shall try to be a good person.
Today I shall try to be a better person than I was yesterday
Today I shall try to be the best that I can be. 
What will you try to be today?


Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.