#BlogElul: Accept

When life gives us lemons, it’s not always easy to make lemonade.

It’s challenging to accept much of what gets tossed our way, grueling to play the sometimes crappy hands we’re dealt.

Financial challenges, health scares, illness (or its potential), divorce, accidents, domestic violence, learning disabilities, family discord, death and the circumstances leading to it – these and more take a toll on our bodies’ and our souls’ well-being.

And yet, they bolster us, too, forcing us to dig deep into our emotional coffers in search of the courage, moxie, strength, and spiritual capital we need to put one foot in front of the other, day after day, and slowly, steadily move forward to a better place.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul: Understand

Ironically, the longer I spend here in the world, the longer is the list of things I don’t understand. Among the things that continually baffle me – in no particular order – are:

• Cancer
• Violence
• Faces endlessly glued to screens
• Politics and politicians
• The stock market
• Tattoo sleeves
• The youth orientation of our culture
• The joy of consumerism
• Outright nastiness
• Slapstick comedy (I don’t find it amusing)
• Deceit
• Bullying
• And the list goes on…

All the more reason, I guess, to spend this month working to explore and understand my own soul – and exactly what makes it tick.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul: Search

As a single New Yorker who works more than full-time, writes and edits on a freelance basis, volunteers and fundraises for my soapbox cause, runs a household, and tries to have a life, I find myself constantly and repeatedly searching for these things:

1. Patience

2. Perspective

3. Fewer judgmental tendencies

4. Food for my soul -- and time to feed it

5. Balance

6. Ways to ward off stress and negativity

7. Professional camaraderie and companionship

8. Time and vulnerability to write

9. Reasons to smile – and people to smile at

Unfortunately, Google is no help here. This search is work I must do myself – now and into the new year.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul: Act

August 17 marked 44 years since we Hermans moved into our beloved house at 12 Webster Road in Somerset.

In the days that followed, Amy and I met the neighborhood kids – the Clancys, the Toths, the Wards, the Kellys, the Bouridimoses, and the Luftglasses – and joined them in the bike-riding, game-playing escapades that would define much of the rest of our childhood.

By the end of the month, I’d already been invited to Susan Luftglass’ 9^th birthday party. Today is 44 years since that pool party, and I have never forgotten her birthday or her gracious act to include me -- the new kid on the block -- in her celebration.

Of course we all miss the mark from time to time, but when we do, may acts like Susan’s – with their decades-long staying power – help balance the ledgers within our souls.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul: Prepare

I recently spent a week visiting my Aunt Claire in the senior community where she lives in the Midwest. It’s no surprise that her closest friends are a lot like her – vibrant, engaged, engaging, fun, and interesting. I enjoyed meeting and socializing with them during my week-long visit.

By Wednesday, I had a realization: “I’m different here than in New York,” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“I smile, chat, engage – and participate in real conversations here. It’s well worth the effort and it doesn’t feel like work at all.”

“At home, I don’t even know half the people who work in my office – or anything about them -- and on some days, the most interactive exchanges I have are with the cashier who rings me up in Duane Reade or the guy who tosses my salad at lunchtime.

I know New York’s a tough place to live, but as Elul descends and I prepare to take an accounting of my soul, I hope to open it up to new beauty, goodness, kindness, decency, humor, integrity, meaning, and more. Amidst the endless chatter and noise and self-centeredness that emanate from everywhere and everyone, I not only want to seek out the beauty, goodness, kindness, decency, humor, integrity, and meaning I know are out there, I want to be touched and enriched by these things – and to touch and enrich others with them as well.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima,this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

How to Play Jewish Geography in the Midwest…Again

As though playing Jewish geography with Rabbi Jason Miller wasn’t enough, I also got to play the game with Fox Run residents Rhoda and Hank Fleischer, when they came to my Aunt Claire’s for tea one afternoon during my visit.

The story of how Aunt Claire connected with them is itself a Jewish geography story extraordinaire.

Gregarious, warm, and outgoing, Aunt Claire readily introduces herself to anyone she doesn’t recognize. When she did so with the Fleischers, new to Fox Run, a conversation along these lines ensued:

Aunt Claire: “Where are you from?”

Rhoda: “I’m originally from the Bronx.”

Aunt Claire: “I am too! We lived off the Grand Concourse.”

Rhoda: “So did we. Where did you go to school?”

Aunt Claire: “P.S. 70.”

Rhoda: “I did too!”

Aunt Claire: “What’s your maiden name?”

Rhoda: “Brotman.”

Aunt Claire: “Rhoda Brotman! We were in the same class from kindergarten through junior high school!”

Rhoda: “Claire Skaletzky! You played the violin!”

A few days later, Rhoda produced a copy of her sixth grade class photo with none other than my Aunt Claire sitting a few seats away!

Although my Jewish geography encounter isn’t nearly as exciting, it deserves a spot on this blog nonetheless.

When I met them, the Fleishers asked where I worked, When I told them, Rhoda said her father’s sister, Lenore, had married a rabbi, Howard Greenstein, z’l. Although I didn’t know him personally, I do know that his son, Micah, is the rabbi in the Reform congregation in Memphis.

Yes, they told me, but they’d lost touch with the family a number of years ago. I was able to give them contact information for Micah, and they are eager to reconnect and, most of all, see how Lenore is doing.

Ah, Jewish geography….

How to Play Jewish Geography in the Midwest

I know four people in the Detroit area: my Aunt Claire, who lives at Fox Run in Novi; West Bloomfielders Judy and Allan Tushman, part of my URJ family from the old days; and Rabbi Jason Miller, a two-time faculty member from Beyond Walls: Spiritual Writing at Kenyon, who lives in Farmington Hills.

I’ve been visiting with my Aunt Claire here in the Great Lakes state since Sunday. On Tuesday, we had lunch with Judy and Allan at a scenic spot overlooking Union Lake. It was great to catch up with them and play a little Jewish geography.

But it was nothing like the Jewish geography we played today.

Today, Jason stopped by for a quick visit. When he came into Aunt Claire’s apartment, he said it looked just like the one in which his wife’s grandmother had lived here at Fox Run. Further in, he perused the array of family pictures in the living room, asking me who was who.

“This is my cousin Marc,” I said, pointing to a wedding photo of Marc and his wife Susan.

“What’s his last name?”

“Glasser,” I said, “Same as my aunt.”

“I know him,” Jason said. “He’s my congregant.”

“I thought you don’t have a congregation…”

As it turns out, my friend has a part-time position as the visiting rabbi at B’nai Israel in Sylvania, Ohio, about an hour south of this area, where my cousin and his family live. Jason’s there every fifth or sixth Shabbat, for the High Holidays, and other festivals and celebrations throughout the year.

Examining the photos further, he identified Marc’s kids, Carolyn and Brian, and before long Jason and Aunt Claire were talking about Feige, the congregation’s b’nai mitzvah tutor.

I’ve no doubt that their conversation will continue – either here in Novi or at B’nai Israel in Sylvania.

Ah, Jewish geography…