#BlogElul 5777: Seven Things to Learn in the New Year

As a lifelong learner, I’d like to learn (at least) these seven things in the new year. Some of them, in fact, may take a lifetime to learn.

1. It’s not personal, even if it feels that way.
2. I cannot control everything, but I can control my reactions.
3. Don’t worry until it’s necessary.
4. Life isn’t always fair.
5. Good guys don’t always win.
6. Not everyone who leads is a leader.
7. At the end of the day, leave the day behind.

Time to get busy!

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Remember

Photo: Flickr user @Heartlover1717/CC

It’s relatively easy to write about kindness and forgiveness and trust and understanding. It’s much harder to remember to do them.

May I remember to be kind, even when I’m frustrated.

May I remember to forgive, even when the sting of being wronged still burns.

May I remember to trust, even when I must also remember that we’re on the same team.

May I remember to be understanding, even when we don’t see eye to eye.

May I remember to be compassionate, even when I’m angry.

May I remember to be accepting, even when I don’t understand.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Count

Terry and I did a lot of counting today:

1. We started with six bagels at the bagel store…plus one freebie for a total of seven.
2. We each had one cup of coffee with our bagel, the first of the day for me, the second for Terry. I added a second (iced, this time) while we visited with my sister at Union Square.
3. Perusing the Washington Square Outdoor Art Exhibit, I bought a solo print – Snow, SoHo, NYC – and three framed prints of New Yorker magazine covers, including the classic View of the World from 9^th Avenue.
4. Next, we landed at Think Coffee for more caffeinating and catching up. I had my third cup of the day (again, iced), and Terry had a caramel latte, topped with a lacy swirl of steamed milk.
5. Caffeinated, we strolled across 13^th Street to Barraca on Greenwich Avenue, where we shared four different tapas dishes – bombas,croquetas de jamon, broccoli a la catalina, and bruselas – and washed it all down with two bottles of Estrella Damm , a mellow Spanish beer.
6. Our counting and calculating got a bit more complicated when we returned home and got to work hanging the three framed prints over the couch. Even with a tape measure, a ruler, and a math major, it took us – two fussbudgets – a few tries to get it all just so. It also took more than three nails – we lost count of the actual number – because I’m no Bob Vila when it comes to using a hammer. By the end of the evening though, I was pleased at how the triptych warmed up the room.
7. Terry’s counting on me to go it alone in finding a frame for the print of a city snow scene, and expects it to be tidily hung by the time she returns in 12 months for our annual Labor Day weekend visit in 2018. 

In the meantime, I know I can count on her love, support, acceptance, and friendship – and she on mine – in the coming year. After all, they’re things we have offered each other unconditionally throughout the last 36 years. God willing, we’ll continue to do so for at least another 36 years, when we’ll be 90, counting the many blessings in our 72-year friendship.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Trust

My college roommate, Terry, arrived in New York City this afternoon for our annual Labor Day weekend visit. It wasn’t long before we were in Starbucks, caffeinating and catching up. I trust we’ll do more than that this weekend, but I can’t guarantee it.

In all our friendships, may we always find abundant trust, love, acceptance, camaraderie, comfort, laughter, good times, support, and – of course – caffeine.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Forgive

I have, in one way or another, committed each of the misdeeds on this list. Please forgive me. As always, I’m striving to be a better person in the year to come, which is the most we can ask of ourselves.

Angering myself and others

Beating a dead horse

Criticizing

Differentiating among equals

Eye-rolling

Failing to keep in better touch

Gossiping

Hopping to conclusions

Impatience

Judging others

Kvetching

Lacking compassion

Minimizing others

Not paying attention

Offending

Pushing buttons

Quitting without finishing

Refusing to think broadly

Schadenfreude

Tardiness

Unnerving others

Valuing things over people

Wasting time

Xenophobia

Yelling

Zooming in on the negative

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: See

I’m sure I’m one of only a handful of people who actually reconciles my credit card statement with my receipts, but I like to see that everything is in order before I pay the bill each month.

Tonight, I saw a charge that gave me pause – and it wasn’t one I had tracked in my spreadsheet of expenses. (Yes, I track my expenses daily in a spreadsheet…stop laughing.) A few phone calls later a fraud case has been opened, my card has been canceled, and a new one will arrive on Tuesday.

In the meantime, this experience serves as a reminder to pay attention, look closely, and remember that just because we may see things a certain way doesn't mean everyone else sees them that way. too – all good lessons as the new year approaches.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.

#BlogElul 5777: Hear

Last week at a worship committee meeting at my synagogue, a committee member offered a d’var Torah about The Ani Tefilla Weekday Siddur, an Orthodox prayer book designed for high school students. It offers four different commentaries, interpretations, or explanations on each of the prayers recited during daily worship:

1. Biur tefilla: offers a thorough explanation of the text of the prayer, sometimes focusing on one word or phrase, as well as the prayer’s context within the service.
2. Iyyun tefilla: offers a philosophical and theological interpretation of the prayer.
3. Hilkhot tefilla: offers the laws and ritual requirements of daily prayer. (Hilkhot (laws) is from the same root as halachah (the collective body of Jewish religious law).
4. Ani tefilla (I pray or I am prayer): is designed to help students bring their own meaning to the prayer, making it personal and an extension of themselves.

The Ani tefilla for the Shema (the central prayer of Judaism that begins, “Hear, O Israel,…”) offers students this story:

Rabbi Eliezer Silver, a leader of American Orthodox Jewry in the twentieth century was president of the Va’ad Hatzala or the Rescue Committee for Jews who survived the Shoah. In that capacity, he travelled in post-war Europe looking for Jewish children who had ended up in non-Jewish orphanages, most often sponsored by the Church. In one such case he came to an orphanage in Alsace Lorraine asking if there were Jewish children there. He was told that there were none or that they could not be identified as such; their origins were unknown and they themselves had forgotten where they were from. Rabbi Silver insisted that he nevertheless be permitted to see the children and he was finally allowed to do so for a few moments before their bedtime. He walked into a room filled with beds of children preparing to go to sleep. He called out “ Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Ehad” and immediately a young child cried out “Mommy!” Soon other voices joined in as children began to come forward crying out for their mothers. “These children are mine,” he said to the priest. “I will take them now.”

Every time I think of this story, I get chills. What poignant reminders it offers us for the new year: to hear small voices, whether they belong to us or to others; to persist in pursuing what we know is right and just; and to work to find individual meaning in our prayers.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima , this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precede the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serve as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.