Wednesday, September 28, 2016

#BlogElul: Intend

I didn’t intend for my days to be so full that there's no time to stop for a chat, a walk, some coffee.

I didn’t intend to be short-tempered, to cut you off, to roll my eyes.

I didn’t intend not to know you. You didn’t know me either. What’s your name? Do you even want to know mine?

I didn’t intend to leave the meeting without saying anything, but what can I possibly say to you? I don’t know you, where you sit, or what you do. Do you even care? Do I?

I intended to focus on just one thing, but there are too many distractions. They get in the way, interrupting my focus, intruding on my concentration. I get confused, frustrated, flustered, angry.

Can I turn off the text messages, the IMs? The jackhammers? The chat box on the video call? Can I ignore the emails? Shut off the TV? Quiet the rumbling? Stop the banging? Silence the sirens? Turn down the volume? Shut off the machines?


I intend to hear the voice inside myself.

Inspired by Ima on (and off) the Bima, this #BlogElul post is one in a series marking the days of the Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the Jewish High Holidays and traditionally serves as a time of reflection and spiritual preparation for the new year.